Let’s face it, being Donald Trump’s press secretary must be a joyless task, like constantly following round a giant, stupid but uniquely powerful dog picking up its shit. He looks so tired. But Sean Spicer didn’t end up here by accident, he wanted this, so if you’re a weasel trying to worm your way into the White House, it’s only fair enough that you’re held to account.

Anyway, Sean Spicer, press secretary to the President of the United States, was discovered hiding in bushes outside the White House in a bid to avoid doing his job, which is talking to the press. Admittedly, the dog from the earlier metaphor (OK we know Donald Trump is not a giant dog) had done a particularly big shit this time, and fired FBI director James Comey for reasons that don’t really make sense right in the middle of an FBI investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties with Russia. Suspicious, certainly. Strange? Absolutely.

After Trump’s ‘manoeuvre’, Spicer and his team were forced into action attempting to come up with an explanation. It’s a difficult job because there isn’t one. Emails were apparently down, so the only way to deliver the odd news was to shout from the doorway of the press office and refuse to take any questions before running away in a bid to avoid reporters and their increasingly incredulity, as reported by the Washington Post, who also gave a rundown of his behaviour as he disappeared into some shrubs:

“After Spicer spent several minutes hidden in the darkness and among the bushes near these sets, Janet Montesi, an executive assistant in the press office, emerged and told reporters that Spicer would answer some questions, as long as he was not filmed doing so. Spicer then emerged. “Just turn the lights off. Turn the lights off,” he ordered. “We'll take care of this. ... Can you just turn that light off?” Spicer got his wish and was soon standing in near darkness between two tall hedges, with more than a dozen reporters closely gathered around him.”

Spicer proceeded to respond to questions for around ten minutes, without ever giving really answers, which must be horribly stressful. Later, the Washington Post amended the story to clarify that Spicer was not “in” the bushes, he was “among” them. Spicer wanted the world to know that he wasn’t in the bushes, he was near them, among them, not actually in one, like with all the twigs and the branches and the stuff that hurts.

He was merely with bushes in the dark, adjacent to them, surrounded by multiple woody plants without the strain of climbing into one. Anyway, it’s good to clear that up and not things like why Donald Trump fired an FBI director for no reason in the middle of an investigation into the Trump campaign’s possible ties with Russia. Perhaps the campaign was not in with Russia, but simply among it? Who knows? Nobody.

I know what you’re thinking – if there were bushes in my office I’d hide in them too and Spicer may have to dodge into a nearby woodland once again as Melissa McCarthy and SNL prepare to rip him this weekend, ignoring Donald Trump’s assertion that the show is “mean” and that McCarthy “needs to slow down on the gum chewing”.