Turns out, it's surprisingly simple to quit your 9-5 and make mermaid-themed dildos instead
It’s an understatement to say that sex toys nowadays are big business. Whereas once you had to buy a Hitachi magic wand under the counter at your local sex shop, now the industry is so established that the Prime Minister recently gave Jacqueline Gold of the sex shop chain Ann Summers a CBE for her ‘contribution to business’.
Sex toys are a multi-billion dollar industry, with sales projected to grow to $52 billion globally by 2020. British retailer Lovehoney saw its profits treble in 2014, and the industry is rushing to evolve innovative new products to get people off – like 3D printed sex toys you can customize to your own exacting requirements. And it’s not just the major players that are cashing in.
Search Etsy, and you’ll find a whole host of bespoke sex toy producers selling their wares. Whether you’re after butt plugs with fox fur tail attachments for all your cosplay animal fantasies, or a hand-carved dildo with Rasputin’s face on it (though why anyone would want that, we have no idea), there’s probably an Etsy shop for you.
To find out more, we spoke to Brandie Harris from Etsy shop Tails and Portholes. Brandie hand-makes mermaid themed silicon dildos (a jellyfish one will set you back £39.86, plus P&P) and is currently working on other projects including custom mermaid tails.
In the spirit of entrepreneurship, and because we don’t see why a small thing like never having made a dildo before should mean you can’t get a slice of the sex toy pie, here’s the Dazed guide to setting up your own Etsy dildo business.
DO YOUR MARKET RESEARCH
Brandie explains. “I used to work in a sex toy store, and that was really helpful. It meant I knew what sizes were the most popular with customers, and what most people were into. Ideally you want to go for about six and a half inches by five and a half in girth – that’s the most commonly wanted size”.
Know who you’re selling to. For example, if you want to target women with lubrication issues, glass dildos are best. For the aesthetes, go for wooden dildos – ‘they’re so pretty!’ Meanwhile, Brandie prefers silicone for her mermaid-themed dildos because “it’s non porous and hypo-allergenic, and you get a nice squish.” Also, you can mix lots of different colours into them, for a tropical jellyfish-themed effect.
START SMALL
A profitable dildo business can be yours for relatively low start-up costs, but it’s worth making sure dildo moulding really is for you before you fork out for essentials like a pressure chamber.
“I started selling dildos before I had a pressure chamber, and I sold them at cost just to get my name out there. So they were imperfect, like they had air bubbles in them or whatever, but that helped to cover my start-up costs.”
INVEST IN YOUR EQUIPMENT
If you want to make decent silicon sex toys, you’re going to have to fork out for a pressure chamber. “My pressure chamber was about $300, and the silicone, if you buy it in bulk, is probably about $400 a barrel, but you’ll get loads of toys out of that”.
LEARN HOW TO MAKE THE DAMN THINGS (AND FIND SOMEONE WITH THE PERFECT PENIS)
So you’ve done your market research, bought a pressure chamber, forked out for some vats of silicone and cleared some space in your garage. Congrats! It’s time to make your first dildo.
Now this is the fun bit. You’re going to have to find someone with a perfect penis to act as your model so you can cast your mould. Remember, if you want mass-market appeal you’re looking for that magic six and a half inches by five and a half girth. Ask your friends, ask your lovers, put out a Facebook call. Maybe don’t ask your co-workers, unless you work in particularly permissive office.
Once you’ve cast your penis (have fun while doing it! Just be careful near the hot silicone), you’re going to need to pour the silicone in the mould. “This is where I would mix in different pigments to get a visually appealing effect”, Brandie says. “Then leave it in the pressure chamber for 4-6 hours".
MARKET YOUR DILDOS - IT HELPS TO HAVE A USP
It’s important to be active online. “Having a Twitter and a Tumblr really helps me market my products. Instagram is good too. I’m really open about my process and transparent when it comes to talking to people”.
It helps if you can highlight how your products are unique. “I’m actually followed by a lot of mermaids in the local mermaid community. I try to stick with the mermaid aquatic theme for all my toys, but when I’m sculpting toys like the jellyfish dildo I don’t have an end goal in mind apart from wanting to make it look like a jellyfish. I just play about with it until it feels right”.
THINK BIG
If you’re really serious about making it as an Etsy dildo vendor, you’re going to need to diversify your product range eventually. Be creative! “I’d really like to move into male masturbators and packers for trans people. I’ve got a really good idea in mind for a mermaid-themed packer, actually”.
And there we have it. A comprehensive guide to how set up an Etsy dildo shop, brought to you courtesy of Dazed. Got to be more interesting than sitting behind a desk every day for a living, right?