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GIF illustration by Alex Simpson

Disney are hiring an intern to counter terrorism onsite

Always wanted to work in threat analysis and terror prevention? How about work in a magical kid’s theme park? This is your chance

There are a lot of things interns are perfect for. They yield fresh ideas in a stagnant workplace. They bring youthful buoyancy to an office of jaded people who’ve already had twenty years to realise in real-time that it’s all a scam. They help out with everyday tasks, and, where appropriate, the ones who have risen above their adequate peers will be given bigger, better jobs. They become a valued member of the team. Essentially, we might as well all see them for what they are: mini super workers, ready to the steal the chair out from under our overqualified, aging arses. 

All that said, there are boundaries to what they can do. I mean they lack vital experience – that’s why they’re interns, after all. So, you’d sort of think highly important mass life and death situations are not quite an adequate task de jour for them. Not so, say Disney.

Since the 9/11 attacks there have been bag checks at the entrance to every theme park, so it’s the next logical step for Disney to work out a plan of action in case an act of terror does become a reality. HMMM. Who to join Disney’s Global Intelligence and Threat Analysis department? An intern, apparently.

The job description states they’re after one to start in 2016 to compose intelligence briefs, write and research threat assessments and assist in deciding on the best options to counter “both existing and future threats or emerging technology”. 

Bizarrely, the posting doesn’t actually say if the post is paid or not. So, if you’re interested in getting into Walt’s world, grab this opportunity with both hands. But maybe don’t just straight up assume you’re getting decent dollar for your danger analysis.