In a new move, Facebook has made several deals with Samsung and other Android smartphone manufacturers to make it impossible to delete the app from their devices. After Facebook’s apology ad, where the social network admitted that the site – once used for bringing people together, was now more like a online coliseum of hatred – you’d be forgiven for thinking that Mark Zuckerberg was trying to clean up his act.

But it now appears that the social media behemoth has decided to cut its losses and go full Orwellian, taking the choice of using it out of the equation. Everything can be deleted, can’t it? No. Due to these recent deals that are currently shrouded in mystery – because Facebook ironically won’t share any information on them – it mean that the Facebook app comes pre-installed on Samsung and Android devices and can only be disabled, not deleted.  

A Facebook spokesperson said the deals had been put in place to give Android users “the best” phone experience. Because we all know that Facebook is like our mum, it just wants the best for us. All they want to know is where we are, who we’re talking to, what we’re talking about, how we vote and also if we’d be down for sharing Russian propaganda.  

The spokesperson “reassuringly” clarified that once disabled, the app acts the same way that it would if it had been deleted.

This would be great, if only a recent study hadn’t come out revealing that Facebook tracks Android users even if they don’t have the app!

Privacy International analysed 34 popular Android apps with user bases of between 10 and 500 million, and found that 23 of the apps sent data to Facebook the moment a user opened them.

So what is the solution? The recent rise in sales of “dumbphones” could spark the start of a technological revolution? Maybe just go off-grid altogether – cya!