Pin It
Attenburough_4 (1)

How the voices of David Attenborough and Trump can affect crystal growth

We took infant crystals and placed them into two matching baths. For two weeks we played one the voice of Attenborough and the other the voice of Trump

Lauren Bowker is science editor-at-large for Dazed and founder of T H E U N S E E N, an innovation, product development and technology licensing company comprising of talent across design, science and engineering. Lauren merges her interest in the occult and science to create Magick for today’s world.

For this experiment to end the year I pondered Christmas and what it means to me as a pagan scientist. On the one side it’s family, wonder, walks in the wilderness and a humble feeling of home. On the other it’s a shit tonne of white stuff and a phoney fat man in red; turning tack into dollars.

So naturally if I was to personify these two sides with people of 2017; one would be Republican Donald Trump, while the first would be the godfather of nature David Attenborough. There is no love lost between the two – Attenborough once joked about shooting Trump.

I wondered what experiment I could do to understand the two positive and negative effects both Trump and Attenborough are having on the world around us? I decided the only way to know is of course to take on a crystal growing experiment.

Nature has an incredible way of forming intricate answers to complex questions and crystals are marvellously festive things, they are in our bodies, in our water and even in our mobile phones. Some scientists believe they take their intricate form influenced by the energy they are subjected to. Think bad energies and you’ll have yourself an unpleasant crystal, think good and she’ll be impeccable.

So here’s what we did – we took four pairs of matching infant crystals and placed them into two matching baths. Each day for two weeks we played one the soothing tones of Attenborough and to the other the megaphones of Trump.

The aim? To see how the crystals formed under the influence of each energy. And how did nature react to this energy as it grew? The results are in.

TRUMP CRYSTAL No.1 – Squares forming, but overall this is disconnected and bleak, much like Donald Trump.

ATTENBOROUGH CRYSTAL NO.1 – A beautiful connection between the crystals – together, unified, solid. Harmony is happening here.

TRUMP CRYSTAL NO. 2 – Jesus, I can barely look at this thing. This is a mess – it looks unloved and fucked up. Sad!

ATTENBOROUGH CRYSTAL NO.2 – Here we see a rocksolid foundation forming for future crystals (much like Attenborough’s attitude towards the Earth). Strong and true. 

TRUMP CRYSTAL NO. 3 – This actually looks like some kind of slimy subhuman sex worm. No further comment.

ATTENBOROUGH CRYSTAL NO.3 – Blocks forming evenly and solidly, with a radiant colour unlike its paler predecessor.

TRUMP CRYSTAL NO.4 – OK now this one has potential, bursting with the colours of life, it looks a lot like Mother Earth herself. But look closely and you’ll see in the centre a large black hole, a cloud that threatens to overshadow everything.

ATTENBOROUGH CRYSTAL NO. 4 – Our beautiful Blue Planet. 

CONCLUSION: This may have been a lighthearted experiment, but the crystals exposed to Trump’s shouting genuinely came off worse than Attenborough’s, proving that in 2018 we should all be kinder and more careful with our words, in order to achieve true beauty. See you there!