Philadelphia rap pranksters Plastic Little toured the UK earlier this month - read Kurt Hunte's increasingly psychedelic journal.

Wednesday and Thursday

We flew to the UK, six and a half hours sitting on the wing next to M. Night Shyamalan. Not so bad, he's writing us into his next movie. Jayson drew him a picture, M. Night kicked a freestyle... it was dope.

Our driver met us at the airport. He didn't have a mouth... PERFECT! But still sorta strange. We wrote graffiti on his head, he didn't even notice. We win.

Got to our manager David's flat in Camden. Had tea then wrote and recorded an album with Tough Alliance. Should be out late january. They freestyled, we watched... it was dope. I play the keys on track 3, 7, 11-14, and 23. Look out for it.

Flight to Reading, full of turbulence, sat next to Sam Kinneson. Oy vey.

Got to venue, ate a bit of baby alligator, drank pink wine. Chilled with the Filthy Dukes and the "after work" crowd until some hooligans showed up. The hooligans pulled out knives, Filthy Dukes pulled out American baseball bats. Dukes win. Acquired women to accompany us to afterparty.

Afterparty in a massive turtle shell looking building, was a soooper rager! Seem to be spinning Somalians hanging from the ceiling. Lost our sherpa though... the sentinels figured out she was pure magic. She evaporated. She will be missed. One Luv.

Oh yeah, Jayson slayed an unruly apparition for passage to hotel. He rocks.

Friday

Flight back to London, no turbulence, no famous people. eh.

Listened to mastered Tough Alliance / Plastic Little 3CD compilation at manager's flat. We need a title. Mailed a copy to Senator Obama for critique. Maybe he'll hook it up. We ate shrimp. Tough Alliance rented horses and rode to Primrose Hill to spend the day doing algorithms. They're space cadets, gotta love'em.

Checked into hotel, slept until soundcheck at Fabric... we killed it, of course.

Went to dinner. Ate mountains of Italian at Pizza Express. Si Young even had dessert. So much tummy pain, never again. Ugh. BOOOO! Never.

We did a three hour set in Room One of Fabric, oh boy! What a session, we murdered it! Good times. Felt bad for the Foreign Beggars having to follow up. They did well though, I mean, who doesn't love grown men juggling flame throwers to rap music? Truly amazing.

Everything was going great until Si and Jay retired for the evening.

While I was wrestling a mermaid, my financial advisor lost her wallet and phone to a booty groping troll. She was petrified. I consoled. The Beggar's lady shaman serenaded us with a song about cookies to soothe her demons. Made everything peachy. Til we meet again shaman, you rock!

Combed the crowd for hours. Slayed many zombies. Feel like a man now. Met a paladin. He freelanced as a bard. Requested me to dish out groupies. Had none by then. Oh well, next time.

Saturday

Flight to Oxford with the Filthy Dukes. They read and reveled in the excitement of the days football match. Plastic Little slept.

Soundcheck... Dukes murdered it.

Ate local japanese food, nearly partook in a spice eating challenge. Decided against it, Pizza Express learned me. I win.

Our sherpa re-materialized and was dancing wildly in the venue when we returned from dinner. Awesomes.

Some young mermaids claimed I stole their drinks while performing at Clapham Grand for an after party. Bought them all drinks. They stayed to party & kept rushing us to go on. Think they might have been ninjas.

Performed to crowd that I guess were passive aggressively ungrateful... They stole Jayson's laptop, UK Blackberry and his camera when he wasn't looking.

Show went well aside from thieving bastard. His/her soul is forever cursed. A dark dark place. We have sherpas and shamans seeing to it. Balance shall be returned to the cosmos.

Dukes performed... they channeled the power of the gods and spewed it about via the speakers. The crowd responded accordingly.

Outside venue, Plastic Little engaging the locals. very annoying classic hip hop enthusiast. Mr. Super Douche tried to talk "hip hop" to me. Told him to evaporate. We almost had a "punch up".

Flew back to London. Hotel gave our reserved rooms away. Made the maitre d' clip our toe nails. All was fine.


Sunday

Day off but not really.
Staying in the earth's forgotten shit castle, Travelodge.
No phone in room.
Just enough cash on hand to eat.
Food stores closed early, had to eat McCheesy birdy puffs.
Situation is quite dire.

Monday

Changed hotels.
Finally slept.
Jayson met with US officials.
Si young stayed on other side of town.
Had a late dinner with financial advisor at a Mexican restaurant with with best-looking non-Mexican wait staff. Boys and girls.
She propositioned some wait staff for us.
It failed, we should've rapped for them.
She then introduced us to espresso martini and wispa.
Debilitated drunk girl outside the pub... damn girl, it's a Monday, what gives?
Mermaid caught my ear.
Ended up at mermaid's.

Tuesday

Photo shoot day. Yay! Front Magazine.
Had portraits taken while we walked about the city.
Very nice neighborhood, east London i believe. We'd all be happy to live there.
Stylist picked out some nice clothes
Met a nice lady, Mary Anne, she drank tea with us.
Met a sprye older looking young dressing lady named Nez, she never heard of us and said, "Who in the 'ell is plastic little?" repeatedly. Then she asked for our autographs.
Met a scary lady, she had a mustache and thought I was a jungle prince.
Dublin tomorrow, Yay!

Wednesday

On the walk to Dublin Jayson developed a toothache. We were received by a local wizard. He took us to Whelans. The rider was followed to a T. Sweeeeeeet!

Soundchecked like gods.

Met a drunken Frenchman named Stephan... He claimed that he has friends who shoot important people. Avoided Stephan for the rest of the night.

Met a couple that disagreed on whether or not living life the Mad Max way would be enjoyable. He was into it as am I, but she sort of was disgusted by his infatuation... me thinks he ought to toughen up his mate.

Opening act P-dogg... didn't get to see much of it due to scary Stephan, but Jayson dug it so it must've been good.

Show was soooo fun! Drank all the jack and bathed in pink wine. Partied quite well with the wizard and his folk till the stars put on their make up.

The wizard's woman produced a large sheet of paper and we all contributed to an exquisite corpse of sorts in the bar. It'll be on eBay soon.

Somehow found way back to hotel two doors down. Perfect night.