A definitive ranking of the outfits from Rihanna’s new video

Kidnapping, nudity, murder: the video of the year is here, and it’s got the style to prove it

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When a music video warns you it contains language, nudity AND violence, you know you’re in for a treat. Rihanna’s new video is here, it’s making us bless the guys that invented YouTube ten years ago and gave music videos freedom to be as totally nuts as this one. Check out the video below, head here for its cult film references, and scroll down for the video’s key looks, ranked from worst to best. 

POLKADOT DRESSING GOWN 

Admittedly, Bad Gal RiRi is probably the only girl who can rock the lazy stoner look, upgraded with a silk dressing gown, shower cap and giant bong. But compared to the other looks in the vid, it’s not a showstopper. 

Rank: Pon de Replay. She looks great, but Rihanna hasn’t quite found her feet with this one yet.

SUITED UP

We don’t get such a good view of this look, but we do love Rihanna in a power suit. 

Rank: Cheers. This outfit would chart, but it’s not in the top ten. 

POOLSIDE PRINCESS

Fur in a pool is a move only Rihanna could pull off, although we don’t get much of a view of this look. Apart from a rear one, that is.

Rank: Pour It Up. This is one for summer fun.

MOTEL MACKINTOSH

Channelling Rose McGowan in The Doom Generation, RiRi shows up at a very Gregg Araki motel in a see-through raincoat and not much else. 

Rank: Umbrella. It’s old school but we love it. 

BUSTIER ON A BOAT

Now we’re talking. Margiela shoes, a bustier, and some long gloves, despite the apparently scorching heat. 

Rank: Rude Boy. RiRi’s on a boat, motherfucker. Take a look at her.

LATEX LEGEND

This look is basically a see through rubber dress with some cute latex gloves. If someone was about to kill you while looking this hot, you’d probably forgive them. 

Rank: S&M. This is Rihanna at her sexy, provocative best.

PATCHWORK FUR

Blue lipstick to match a patchwork Tom Ford fur coat, chokers and a 60s via 90s haircut: this look has a lot going for it. 

Rank: American Oxygen. Because it gives us life.

OUTLAW IN THIGH HIGH BOOTS

A tee from Adam Selman (the designer behind her infamous CFDA dress), thigh high VETEMENTS boots, a pinstripe coat and a bandanna. This one is badass.

Rank: Shut up and Drive. The perfect hit the road, vigilante look.

BIRTHDAY SUIT

Where is there to end but the video’s final scene? The image of the pop icon lying naked and blood-covered is proof that Rihanna looks best exactly as she was made. 

Rank: Bitch Better Have My Money. Everyone go home, we’ve reached peak Rihanna. 

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