I have a really weird fascination with those programs where people dress up in clothes from the olden days and go and live in some time machine house. So, I kind of started dressing like an evacuee – in knee-high socks, brown shoes and sweater vests. Needless to say, my mother was horrified. I also took up knitting and started asking for wholesome meals, like stews and bread and butter pudding. 

My fascination with evacuees started quite young. My mum bought me a video of the 1980s BBC adaptation of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (I still watch it in secret sometimes). I was never that bothered with the imaginary woodland creatures or the fight between good and evil, but I loved the scenes of the children on the train, or when they were hanging out in that strange old man’s house. Their clothes were amazing –all Fair Isle cardigans and sensible shoes. There was this one dress that really sticks in my mind – it was bottle green with a Peter Pan collar and red trim. Needless to say, she wore it with matching ribbons in her hair.

The video was, I’m sure, a purchase my down-with-the-kids mother would later regret, because it started a full-blown knitwear revolution. Both of my parents were quite rebellious when they were younger (my dad had green hair and my mum used to wear an Oscar Wilde smoking jacket instead of a coat) so any of the normal teenage things like parties and lots of eyeliner would have just been me following in their footsteps. Lovely as they are, they’re not top of my agenda.

I get most of my clothes from charity shops. There are some really good vintage shops in Newcastle, like Royal Vintage and Attica, which is a magical land of frock coats and beautiful dresses. I’ve also got a generous uncle who works in the Red Cross shop in Mayfair, so he’s always sending me fabulous toot. My favourite thing is definitely my Miss Marple cape. I’m not too sure where that came from, my mum dug it out from somewhere when she finally resigned herself to the fact she has a geek for a daughter.

There’s definitely some satisfaction to be found in making a meal out of some leeks, some potatoes, some stale bread and a cup of water, or knitting a scarf and wearing it until it falls apart. We all know that in these tough times Blighty needs to “make do and mend”. And, it is quite interesting to see the look of disgust cross peoples faces when I tell them I’ve got carrot biscuits in my lunch box. Recently, I’ve started a campaign to get old phrases back into circulation. Basically, I just drop “no shilly-shallying”, or something along those lines, into to casual conversation. So I urge you to say “quick sticks” today. It’s really fun, I promise. Also, if you’ve got a bottle green dress with a Peter Pan collar floating about... well you know where I am.

My parents are really “down with the kids” (that’s why they gave me this ridiculous name). So, anyway, I’ve had to become an ultra geek in order to rebel. Basically, I just think the world should know that not all young people are really cool. Some of them just want to go on television in chunky knitwear and massive knickers.

Text by Sunshine Caulkner | Photographs by Michael Thomas Jones
As featured in Dazed & Confused January Issue.