Blind ‘fingering’ dates are London’s latest craze

Orgasmic meditation classes are taking off in the capital – but what exactly do they involve?

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Frances Waite
Illustration by Frances Waitevia Instagram / @franceswaite

“Who wouldn’t want to get their genitals stroked regularly, pleasurably, and with no strings attached?!” writes one orgasmic meditation practitioner, with palpable enthusiasm. “(These classes) feel good, with side effects of better communication, more body awareness, less mental chatter, and the secret confidence that comes from knowing I’m taking exquisite care of my pussy.”

The thought of your vagina being ~tenderly caressed by a total stranger may not seem very relaxing, but for thousands of other young Londoners, this has become a vital weekly practice. Known as OM, OM-ing, or straight-up ‘stroking pussy’, orgasmic meditation is sending shockwaves across the capital, giving curious women the chance to improve their “empathy, connection and attention” through the power of a 15-minute fingering session. 

The process is simple. You head to the class, strip off from the waist down, and lie across an unknown, fully-clothed man while he strokes your clitoris. The aim? A shared meditational experience, and “the deeply human, deeply felt, and connected experience of orgasm”.

“(We’re shifting) sex out of the dark, under the covers, from the shameful and often consumptive places where it used to be, and into the light,” explains practitioner Rachel Tayeb. “We take the most powerful impulse, the orgasm impulse, and approach it in an entirely new way. OM offers a practice through which we can harness this impulse that is a deliberate, repeatable method for accessing the orgasm state.”

“Learning how to handle her pussy is equally important as learning how to handle the rest of her. Imagine what would be possible if you learned to do both?”

Orgasmic meditation may sound like a weird, and massively uncomfortable, idea, but its success silences any detractors. Since it was ‘discovered’ by charismatic Californian academic Nicole Daedone, the practice has spread across the world like wildfire, offering a new form of enlightenment to its hundreds of thousands of devotees. There’s been TED talks on the topic, a much-loved YouTube channel and countless converts singing the praises of their new ‘stress-free’ life. While this may be something to do with the often neglected female orgasm – an experience only felt regularly by 57 per cent of women – Tayeb insists the craze crashes way past that.

“There’s an important distinction that’s worth making here,” she stresses. “We differentiate between climax and the orgasm state. The climax is a few seconds of physical experience, whereas the state of orgasm is continuous – more akin to an optimal state of consciousness brought about by the activation of the sex impulse. It’s that feeling of being so completely absorbed in an experience that there is no psychic chatter, no being ‘stuck in your head’, a falling away of the ego. When this happens, our sense of limitations falls away as well. In the orgasm state, we feel totally present and connected, as if a deeper intuitive sense has awakened.”

Although OM is mostly marketed towards “free, hip, powerful” women, TurnON Britain (the official UK branch of the movement) also offers classes to men who feel a “willingness and desire to know the feminine” – or in other words, guys who could do with a little more guidance in that area. As the course summary eloquently puts it, “learning how to handle her pussy is equally important as learning how to handle the rest of her. Imagine what would be possible if you learned to do both?”

For Tayeb, the course is not about courting controversy, but is instead a bold new step for sexual enlightenment – offering both sexes an increased depth of intimacy, connection and personal power. Sweeping to one side the fact that it’s disappointingly binary and traditional in its gender stance (and the fact it costs £147 for the first session), it could well become an important tool for women who’ve got an itch they can’t quite scratch. All you really need is the bravado to try it. “We view orgasm as a state of consciousness in which vitality saturates every cell of the body,” she says, with a true Cali spirit. “The mind is sharp, clear and free of compulsive chatter. To claim that birthright is the outcome of the practice.”

Hear more about OM on the OneTaste website here

Illustration by Frances Waite. Read about her Tinder nude series here

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