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Etsy sellers are cashing in on Kanye’s Twitter meltdown

Looks like today's a good day to sell all those ‘Yeezy Likes Butt Stuff’ necklaces you've been trying to get rid of

January is generally dull, but in the world of hip hop it’s been fairly lively. B.o.B has claimed that the world is flat and dissed an astronomer and Kanye has released tracks from the album formerly known as SWISH. Crucially, Kanye’s epically ill-judged Twitter rant yesterday has also provided enterprising Etsy sellers with a business opportunity.

Racked reports that Etsy users are selling products inspired by Kanye’s Twitter meltdown. Alongside the inevitable #TEAMWIZ and #TEAMYEEZY t-shirts (yours for £8.63, plus P&P), you can also pick up a mug depicting his Twitter drama in all its glory (including the Kim cry-face emoji).

Given that Kanye himself is a big fan of the side-hustle, what with his various fashion collaborations and stake in streaming service Tidal, we feel like he’d probably be okay with Etsy users making a bit of cash on the side from his Twitter debacle. Here’s Dazed expert guide to which Kanye Etsy memorabilia is worth your cash, written by someone who has never actually managed to listen to a Kanye album all the way through.

THE TSHIRT YOUR GIRLFRIEND WILL STEAL TO FAKE-TAN IN

Here’s what will happen. You’ll buy a matching set of these “Team Wiz/Team Yeezy” tshirts for you and Bob in accounts, because you want to show the rest of your office that you’re fun-loving guys with a finger (lol) on the cultural zeitgeist. By the time they arrive from China, everyone will have forgotten what the Twitter beef was even about, and your girlfriend will end up wearing your “Team Wiz” tshirt to bed when she’s fake-tanned and doesn’t want to ruin your sheets.

THE NECKLACE WHICH REMINDS US THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER SLUT-SHAME AMBER ROSE

So (allegedly) Yeezy’s a bit partial to the old ‘finger up the bum’ trick. Good for him, I say. Rap notoriously has a problem with homophobia, so anything which breaks down the taboo about male sexuality through a bit of finger-bum fun is great with me. Buy this necklace, you won’t regret it.

THE MUG THAT IS ALMOST CERTAINLY NOT DISHWASHER SAFE

You’ll buy this mug and pay for it to be shipped all the way from Australia. You’ll drink tea from it, and contemplate how Kanye’s PR handlers (if he has any) probably have the most difficult job in the world. Then you’ll stick it in the dishwasher, and all the wording will peel off, so you're left with a mug featuring – inexplicably – an emoji of Kim Kardashian’s cry-face.

ANOTHER POINTLESS TSHIRT YOU WILL NEVER WEAR 

Ask yourself this – did you know what “OG” stood for before the world woke up to the news of Kanye's Twitter rant this morning? If the answer is yes, don't buy this shirt. It’s not an original gangster shirt. If the answer is no, don’t buy this shirt. Basically, don’t buy this shirt. 

A LIGHTER TO PUT YOU OFF YOUR CIGARETTES

As I already made clear (see above), I have no issue with Kanye (allegedly) enjoying a finger up the bum. However, I really, really do not want to be reminded of that while smoking. You might think that's weird or whatever, but it just puts me off my cigarettes. Give this one a miss. 

There we have it. To conclude, I’d probably recommend going for the necklace if you’ve got some cash burning a hole in your pocket that you're just dying to spend on pointless shit you don't need. If anyone does manage to find an emoji necklace of the pointing finger however, send it my way – that’s one Kanye trinket I would definitely fork for.