I'm a 16-year-old skateboarder from Liverpool and I study Video Games Development at Liverpool Community College (talk about a Fisher Price degree, huh?). I skate pretty much everyday. I wanted to find out why the goths hate the emos; the emos hate the moshers; the moshers hate the skateboarders; the chavs hate absolutely fucking everyone; why the indie kids and artfags are tossing off so hard; and, why anyone over the age of 20 just doesn't “underfuckingstand”.

JADE, ARTY
Geff: How old are you?
Jade: I’m 15 and currently doing my GCSEs.
Geff: So, anyways – emos, what do you think of them?
Jade: To be honest, a lot of them are just a bunch of whiny kids looking for attention, but they're not too bad, I suppose. Some of them are fit.
Geff: Okay, one down. Now, how about moshers, goths and chavs?
Jade: Moshers just look like people who have totally given up with all round hygiene. Goths, I can deal with – some of them are a laugh. I just don't see why they have to be so morbid. And finally, there's a difference between chavs and scallys. I'm from a town called Gloucester down south, so I know this for a fact because there you get chavs. Chavs are interested in who they are fucking next and nothing else. End of. Scallys I can't abide –especially the younger ones between the ages of 12 to 14.
Geff: Skaters?
Jade: Well, my boyfriend is a skater, so I can't say anything bad at the moment.
Geff: And, even though you’re so much alike – indie kids?
Jade: Usually they are really nice people, but places like Topshop and Urban Outfitters rip them off by putting their style of clothing into the mainstream, so everybody just looks the same. There are some great small, backstreet shops selling cheap, beautiful clothes but a lot of indies just aren't looking for them!
Geff: So, that's the difference between indies and artys – you know how to shop!
Jade: Yeah!

ANDY, MOSHER
Geff: What do you think of emos?
Andy: I think at one point they meant something, they represented emotionally traumatised kids who didn’t know how to get their feelings across properly, but now it's just another fad that arseholes are taking up to try and get attention.
Geff: Good one. What about chavs?
Andy: Well, I live around a lot of chavs but they are just pompous knobheads who think what they say and do is always right. But they are always wrong and are far too violent.
Geff: Amen brudda… goths?
Andy: Lots of the mosher music is goth music so... we get on quite well. Their dress sense and the way they act can go way too far though, no need for lots of shit.
Geff: And how about indie kids?
Andy: You can't not like indie people... they aren't violent and like nice mellow music that just fits with everything.

KIM, INDIE KID
Geff: So, Kim how old are you and what are you up to?
Kim Louise: I’m 17. I'm doing my A levels in St. Helens.
Geff: What are your opinions regarding emos and chavs?
Kim Louise: Haha! I'm not too fond of either really. First off, emos are desperate to be ‘unique’ but they all look the same, and like they ain’t washed in weeks. Self-harming has become the in thing to do because it gets you attention. It's pathetic, man
Geff: And what about chavs?
Kim Louise: They don't really have two brain cells to rub together, do they? Chav trademarks are dodgy tracksuits, old pulled-up socks and a knife hidden somewhere. I hate them because they act obnoxiously towards anyone who’s not dressed the same.
Geff: I hear you aren't too fond of the goths, either?
Kim Louise: Nahh, they’re pretty filthy and have a bad outlook on life. I also think those Matrix leather coats they wear are like, the worst invention ever.

JOHN, SCALLY
Geff: So, John, you’re a bit of scally, aren’t ya?
John: Nah, I just hate them goths innit.
Geff: Why?
John: They dress like the devil innit lad.
Geff: What do you think of moshers?
John: What are they? People say all these groups but they’re all just the same lad.
Geff: Even skateboarders?
John: Yeah, they need to grow up – playing with toys and that.
Geff: You play footy, though…
John: Different that, though, lad.
Geff: Is it?
John: Yeah lad.
Geff: What about indie kids?
John: Like The Wombats?
Geff: Yeah, I suppose.
John: The girls are fit.
Geff: What about the boys?
John: Gimps.

JACK, EMO
Geff: So, Jack, how old are you and what do you do with your life?
Jack: I’m 16 and I go to Liverpool Community College where I’m studying Video Games Development. I’m really into My Chemical Romance.
Geff: So you’re an emo?
Jack: Yeah.
Geff: Wow, that’s amazing. Most emo kids are in denial.
Jack: Yeah they are. I think it’s because they get so much abuse.
Geff: So, living in Liverpool and being emo, I guess you aren’t too fond of chavs?
Jack: Yeah, I don’t like chavs because they do pointless stuff like standing on corners in the same black tracksuits causing shit.
Geff: You told me before you’re fond of moshers, though – why’s that?
Jack: Because they seem to have their own style and have better taste in music then chavvy dance shit.
Geff: What about those arty-farty indie kids?
Jack: Indie kids aren’t too bad. I don’t really know many – there’s worse people I can think of.
Geff: Like who?
Jack: Chavs.

Text by Geff | Illustrations by OHGEE
As featured in Dazed & Confused January Issue.