There’s a Twitter account posting passages of Boris Johnson’s awful book

Seventy-Two Virgins is as racist as it sounds

November 212019

Next month, the UK will be holding yet another general election, but before we go to the polls, one Twitter account is reminding us that Boris Johnson is not just the leader of the hateful Tories, he’s also a dreadful writer.

@VirginsJohnson has unearthed extracts of the disgraced prime minister’s ‘comic’ political novel Seventy-Two Virgins, and as you can imagine, it’s as grossly racist as its title suggests. The book documents three and a half hours in Westminister, in which a terrorist group of suicide bombers, referred to as “Islamofascists”, target the US president as he gives a speech in Westminster Hall – that is, until the day is saved by Roger Barlow (Boris Johnson), a bicycling Tory MP, recognsied by his blonde, flowing hair and flapping coat-tails.

Unsurprisingly, the book is racist, classist, and sexist, and @VirginsJohnson features some of its most disturbing passages. There’s references to “Islamic headcases” and “Islamic nutcases”; Arabs are described to have “hook noses” and “slanty eyes”; a boy is called “coffee-coloured”; and there are mentions of “pikeys” and people who are “half-caste”.

Women are described as having “lustrous eyes”, “long legs”, “good teeth and blonde hair” – there’s even “a mega-titted six-footer” – presumably because that’s all we’re good for.

It’s 336 pages of blind propaganda, and I can’t decide what’s worse: that he’s saying all of this, or that Johnson, a meglomaniac, genuinely thinks of himself as a saviour.

Depressingly, the extracts shown are not so different to the bullshit spouted by the Tory party today.

Below, we’ve selected some of the book’s most shocking extracts.

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One of the policemen scribbled ‘coon’ in his notebook. You never knew how these things would go. But Dean shrank before him, and the ambiguities in his status seemed to fade away.
— 72 Virgins (@VirginsJohnson) November 21, 2019

And all they could get to eat was shoarma and chips, chicken and chips, shoarma and chips, chicken and chips.
— 72 Virgins (@VirginsJohnson) November 20, 2019

All of it might have been tolerable, however, had it not been for the streets. He hated the streets, walking among these skinny and malnourished people as though you were from an alien planet.
— 72 Virgins (@VirginsJohnson) November 20, 2019

Always there was the heart-thud of anxiety when the cars cruised towards your station. Everyone was afraid of the guys with the mad eyes, who ran in from the crowds and pop pop pop they fired or ka-boom they blew their killer waistcoats.
— 72 Virgins (@VirginsJohnson) November 20, 2019

They felt his mocking beams assess their choice of television programme, and the sad secret reasons for adopting this coffee-coloured son.
— 72 Virgins (@VirginsJohnson) November 21, 2019

Dean never knew his name or occupation, and for the time being all we need to know is that towards 3 a.m. on the morning of Friday 9 June a Midlands businessman called Sammy, of Viper Wipers, was cruising the Bilston Road in search, as he put it, of a ‘bit of black’.
— 72 Virgins (@VirginsJohnson) November 21, 2019

Jones turned and looked back at Dean as they waited to cross the traffic.

‘Remember what it says in the Holy Koran, my young friend.

“‘Slay the unbelievers wherever you can find them. Arrest them, besiege them, and lie in ambush for them everywhere.”‘
— 72 Virgins (@VirginsJohnson) November 21, 2019

With his slanty eyes and triangular tongue, Haroun was like a priggish wolf. If that porky tow-van operator hadn’t beaten it so quickly, Haroun would have done for him with all the dispatch of a halal butcher slicing the throat of a sacrificial kid.
— 72 Virgins (@VirginsJohnson) November 21, 2019