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Hudson Mohawke
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Do not have sex to Hudson Mohawke

The Scottish producer’s 2011 track ‘Cbat’ has gone viral for being one of the worst possible songs to have sex to – but we can think of some others

A good sex playlist is hard to come by these days, but if we had to choose, it wouldn’t be Hudson Mohawke’s 2011 track “Cbat”, which is exactly what one Reddit user has consistently been bonking to for over two years.

Taking to the Today I F**ked Up subreddit, a man made a very personal revelation about his sex life with his girlfriend of two years. The 25-year-old explained that when he first started being sexually active he was “a little stiff and pretty much had no idea what I was doing”. He decided to compile a sex playlist, which included his favourite tune “Cbat”. Unfortunately, after two years, his girlfriend admitted to hating the song so much that it’s put her off sex altogether. “It’s fucked up the relationship tbh because sex feels awkward now. The other day we were having sex with no music but I was still thrusting to the tune playing in my head. She recognised this and asked me to stop,” he wrote

For those unfamiliar with “Cbat” – listen above – let’s just say it’s not the friendliest track to thrust along to. Intentionally downbeat and repetitive, it’s the electronic music equivalent of a balloon slowly deflating, with production so jaunty, so offbeat that the idea of having sex to it feels borderline absurd. 

After the man’s admission went viral, “Cbat” itself has become a trending meme, with people on TikTok trying to recreate what it would be like to have sex to the track. Even HudMo himself is in on the joke and has taken to Twitter to highlight some of his favourite videos. His current artist pick on Spotify is “Cbat” complete with the caption ‘stroke game’. As for his Twitter bio, he recommends his making love to his latest release instead: “Cry Sugar is better for sex.”

For those of you who feel undaunted by the “Cbat” challenge – or for those who have tried and actually quite enjoyed it – why not take the challenge further? From the bubbling, pinball pulsations of The Tuss to the dulcet wails of Crazy Frog, we rounded up some of the most impossibly unsexy songs ever made (beware, may cause injury).

THE TUSS, “DEATH FUCK”

The name says it all I'm afraid!

DEATH GRIPS, “GET GOT”

No!

CRAZY FROG, “AXEL F”

[screaming intensifies]

SOPHIE, “FACESHOPPING”

For a murderous vibe.

LIMP BIZKIT, “FAITH”

This will really confuse everyone!

100 GECS, “DORITOS AND FRITOS”

A sensual banger x