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Grimes squares up to a helpless Minion
Grimes squares up to a helpless MinionMinions: The Rise of Gru (2022), Twitter/@Grimezsz

Grimes bravely comes out as anti-Minion: ‘they are aesthetic terrorism’

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Like any divisive musician and impulsive poster, Grimes has racked up an impressive list of nemeses over the years, from Azealia Banks, to the fanboy army of Elon Musk, to the superintelligent tech that will “inevitably” make human musicians obsolete. Now, though, she’s throwing down the gauntlet against a whole new breed of foe: Minions.

Yes, Grimes has added the horrid, banana-loving yellow creatures – AKA the face of ketamine chic, AKA the bizarre obsession of teenage boys who flooded cinemas to watch The Rise of Gru – to her personal blacklist.

“Minions are aesthetic terrorism,” she declared on Twitter in the early hours of this morning (August 4), sharing an image of three Minions wearing weird little suits. “This did not need to exist.” Honestly? It sounds like she’s laying the psychological groundwork for a counter-strike.

Forget Nancy Pelosi’s visit to Taiwan – the comic relief characters of the Despicable Me cinematic universe will be the spark that lights the touchpaper of World War III. The battle will be fought in blue denim dungarees, steampunk goggles, and ill-fitting prom suits. Yellow bodies will fall at the Sojin Oh-nailed hands of Grimes’ Faé army.

At least, that’s how it would go down if Grimes hadn’t backed down almost immediately, following up the tweet with an old classic: “OHHHH fuck this was supposed to be from my burner account I shud delete this ok I’m so sorry.” (Big, ‘oh, no, I was just reading Karl Marx for the lolz,’ energy.)

Of course, the post hasn’t been deleted yet, raising doubts about her intent to platform hateful rhetoric… against Minions. But the idea that Grimes is posting anti-Minion propaganda from a sock puppet is an enticing one. What else is she talking about on there, what other beloved institutions is she tearing down with her incisive cultural criticism? SpongeBob SquarePants? Shrek? We may never get the answers we deserve.