‘Just a gig, but everyone’s single’: Inside a London singles-only event

I’d only had two sips of my margarita, but the rock of the boat was making me feel drunk. I perched by the edge of the bar, less than a metre behind my friend, Dhruv, who had coaxed me to come to our first-ever singles night. We were attending Heartbeat, a dating-slash-music event hosted by Sofar Sounds on a docked boat on the Thames. 

I should start by saying that when it comes to modern dating, I am sceptical. I don’t use dating apps. Despite their popularity (attendance at in-person dating events soared by 42 per cent between 2023 and 2024 according to Eventbrite), just the idea of any organised dating event causes my body to seize up with heart-stopping awkwardness. Even being at a bar and or club where people are clearly there to “pull” (and therefore behave like they’re at a meat market) makes me cringe.

I really went to the Heartbeat event to please Dhruv, and because I was impressed by Sofar’s positioning of the event as “just a gig, but everyone’s single”. The lack of gimmicks was reassuring and I thought the set-up was perfect for encouraging people to approach one another and work through any fear of rejection. I had very few expectations. At the very least, I thought it would be a fun experience, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tentatively open to the possibility of meeting someone. 

The main selling points of Sofar’s global live entertainment events are intimacy, “unconventional venues” and spotlighting grassroots culture. Their often sold-out Heartbeat events retain this ethos, plus the bonus of knowing that everyone in the crowd is single. Dhruv and I attended London’s 18th Heartbeat event in the last 12 months, at Clipper Lounge – a fancy boat docked across the road from Embankment station. On our way in, we showed our tickets to a bouncer who clearly took some glee in the fact that we were attending a singles event. “No need to be embarrassed, mate,” he told my friend. “Everyone’s here for the singles night.” 

We filtered in towards the bar, with the option of wearing a coloured sticker to denote our sexualities (the event was a mixed queer and heterosexual event). The first thing Dhruv noticed was the big age range — for me, it was the distinct lack of men. This, of course, is the “perennial issue” faced by events organisers in the age of dating nights, so I am told by Kaz Komolafe, Executive Director of Experiences at Sofar.

“Men are more likely to purchase last minute and in a group than women, we think because men find the idea of singles experiences ‘cringey’,” she tells Dazed. “We spend the majority of our marketing budget on encouraging men to buy tickets to our shows and we continue to find new ways to target them — from partnerships with local barber shops, building ambassador programs for men to bring their friends, paid advertising and more.” Unfortunately, in this instance, it didn’t seem to work. I don’t know the exact figures, but it felt like a 60/40 split at best — but I’d hazard it was more like 70/30. 

The room filled up quickly, with all the seats in the house taken, including the cushions on the floor in front of the performance space. The host laid down the rules (no talking during performances, filming and photography allowed), made some brief jokes and then had us play a game to break the icy atmosphere. Things only got more awkward, though, when he asked people who’d already seen someone attractive to go to the left side of the room, and no one really moved. 

Dating apps aren’t really working and you have to put yourself out there even though it’s uncomfortable

At least, I thought, no one would actually be forced to talk to one another, unlike at more formalised speed dating events. “We wanted to take the pressure off of people,” says Komolafe. “I love it when I hear about artists, guests and Sofar team members going out to the pub after the show. That’s the beauty of the lower key set-up – at the end of the day it’s a gig, just everyone’s single, which presents an opportunity to meet people. One of our guests even said it reminded them of a really great hostel bar, where people are excited to just hang out with new people. That’s the vibe we’re trying to create.”

My friend Dhruv, a 29-year-old Londoner, thoroughly enjoyed the event. “I found it very interesting because a lot of people there were in the same situation – especially guys – where dating apps aren’t really working and you have to put yourself out there even though it’s uncomfortable.” Roberto, a 30-year-old GP from Mexico, was another fan. This was his third Sofar event and second Heartbeat event. “It’s a nice place to meet people and hang out,” he says. “It’s hard to meet people in London, especially when you don’t already know anyone.” Meeting someone romantically would just be a bonus for him. “If it happens, it happens,” he tells me. “I just like the combination of good music and nice people.”

And the music was great. The performances from singer-songwriter OURRA and spoken word artist BrokenPen did more to break the ice than anything else, and the intimate set-up, which allowed the artists and crowd to interact organically, was very special. For me, the performances made the event worthwhile, perhaps more so than the prospect of meeting someone. As a gig alone, and a space to meet new people, Heartbeat was a success. As a dating event, I’m personally not convinced – but it was always going to be a hard sell. I’ll stick to holding out for that chance encounter (because they do happen, as long as you’re looking for them).