So there we have it – after 14 years, the Tories are finally gone. Keir Starmer is set to be our next Prime Minister, and in a weeks’ time we’ll probably hear that Rishi Sunak has decided to fuck off to California and spaff away some of his wife’s billions in Silicon Valley.

But none of this is really that shocking. For weeks the polls have predicted that Labour would thrash the Tories – now we know they were right. If you consider yourself to be left-wing, you might feel apprehensive at the prospect of a Starmer-led government now that it’s finally here, but every cloud has a silver lining: putting the big headlines aside, there’s lots to celebrate. Here, we’ve rounded up some of the more positive moments from the 2024 general election.

THE GREENS WON ALL THEIR PREDICTED SEATS

Cheeringly, the Green Party won four seats last night. While that may not sound like much, it’s worth noting that our First-Past-the-Post voting system makes it difficult for fringe parties to win large numbers of seats (if the number of seats won was proportional to the number of votes received, the Greens would have bagged around 44 seats).

Ultimately, though, the Greens have quadrupled the number of seats they won in 2019, which is a huge achievement. With more Green MPs in the House of Commons, it’s likely that their more radical policies – such as a wealth tax and tackling climate change at the root – will finally have a chance to be heard and discussed.

Party co-leader Carla Denyer won in Bristol Central by a sizable margin, coming in 24 per cent ahead of the seat’s Labour candidate Thangam Debbonaire. People cheered as the result was announced at the count in Bristol last night, with Denyer making a moving acceptance speech shortly after her victory. “Bristol, you made history,” she said. “Together, we did it: we elected our city’s first Green MP.”

Notably, the Greens also won in North Herefordshire with Ellie Chowns elected as the constituency’s MP. The constituency has long been considered a Tory safe seat, having voted for Conservative MPs since 1910. It’s an encouraging example of how under the right circumstances, even some of the safest seats can change.

Overall, the Greens won nearly 6.8 per cent of the vote share – a decent increase from 2019, when they won 2.7 per cent of all votes.

CORBYN WON ISLINGTON NORTH AS AN INDEPENDENT

At around 5am this morning it was announced that former Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn had been elected as an independent in Islington North. Corbyn has represented the constituency as a Labour MP since 1983, but decided to run as an independent after Starmer blocked him from standing in March 2023.

Some polls doubted whether Corbyn would retain the seat, but in the end he beat the Labour candidate Praful Nargund by over 7,000 votes, owing to his dedication to the local area and the strength of his powerful canvassing campaign.

The newly elected Islington North MP gave a moving speech after his win was announced. “Our campaign did not get into the gutter of politics,” he said. “Ours is a positive campaign, trying to bring hope to people.”

LOTS OF HORRIBLE PEOPLE LOST

A number of high-profile Tories lost their seats, including 12 (former) Cabinet ministers. 

The night’s biggest losers include former Prime Minister Liz Truss, leader of the House of Commons Penny Mordaunt, Defence Secretary Grant Shapps, Justice Secretary Alex Chalk, Technology Secretary Michelle Donelan, Education Secretary Gillian Keegan, and Victorian scarecrow Jacob Rees-Mogg. Cya x

REFORM WON FEWER SEATS THAN THE EXIT POLL PREDICTED

I nearly choked when I saw the exit poll predicting Reform to win 13 seats. While four MPs is four MPs too many, it’s a relief to think that Nigel Farage’s right-wing party didn’t gain any more than that. Here’s hoping Reform fades into irrelevance by 2029.

PRO-PALESTINIAN INDEPENDENTS WERE SUCCESSFUL

Labour lost four seats to candidates who had run as independents challenging Keir Starmer’s pathetic stance on Gaza (or five, if you include Jeremy Corbyn).

One of the biggest casualties was shadow Cabinet Office minister Jonathan Ashworth, who lost his seat in Leicester South by just under 1,000 votes to independent candidate Shockat Adam. “This is for Gaza,” Adam said after the result was announced. 

In Blackburn, Labour’s Kate Hollern lost by 132 votes to the independent Adnan Hussain. In Dewsbury and Batley, Heather Iqbal lost by nearly 7,000 votes to Iqbal Mohamed. In Birmingham Perry Barr, Khalid Mahmood lost to Ayoub Khan.

Elsewhere, other high-profile Labour MPs were in danger of being unseated by pro-Palestinian candidates. Notably, shadow health secretary and human wet wipe Wes Streeting won just 528 votes more than independent candidate Leanne Mohamad.

ELECTORAL REFORM IS BACK ON THE AGENDA

Electoral reform is on many commentators’ lips this morning. It’s jarring to think Starmer’s victory is being hailed as a ‘landslide’ when Labour only won 35 per cent of the vote share. Notably, Corbyn’s Labour performed better in 2017, when they won 40 per cent of all votes. 

This election also saw the highest proportion of third party votes in 100 years, even though fringe parties remain underrepresented in Parliament. As aforementioned, while the Greens won 6.8 per cent of all votes, they were only awarded 0.6 per cent of available seats. And while nobody sane wants to see Reform succeed, it is questionable that the Lib Dems were able to win 71 seats with 3.5 million votes, while Reform won just 4 with 4 million votes.

Here’s hoping this election is the final nail in the coffin for First-Past-the-Post and that electoral reform can finally get on the political agenda.

TRANSPHOBES FAILED

Previous research has shown that British people aren’t worried about non-issues like where people piss, and last night’s results prove that this really is the case.

While outspoken ‘gender critical activist’ Posie Parker (Kellie-Jay Keen) claimed her views on trans people were shared by millions, she won fewer than 200 votes in Bristol Central, coming in last place by an embarassingly large margin. The constituency was ultimately won by Carla Denyer, the Green Party co-leader, who has expressed her commitment to improving trans rights. Parker won even fewer votes than novelty candidate ‘Captain Beany’ who won over 600 votes in Aberafan Maesteg, Wales.

Elsewhere, openly transphobic candidates like Miriam Cates, Liz Truss, and Joanna Cherry also lost their seats.