Because we’re living in a girl’s world!
Hello baby dolls, it’s your most-trusted internet guide here. We know you’ve been scrolling the feed for all the hottest new trends, and we’re here to help. From babygirls and bimbos to Pinkydoll and Subway Girl, the internet is feeling kinda girl-coded lately. But don’t worry, you don’t have to be an actual girl to be a Girl Online. As Tiqqun points out in the 1999 text Preliminary Materials for a Theory of the Young-Girl, nowadays, being a girl isn’t a gendered concept, but a symptom of our times; a way of expressing our collective ambivalence and capitalist consumption – and what are we online if not our personal brands?
Since we can’t overthrow the system just yet (because we are simply just girls), we think it’s time to share our eternal knowledge with you gifted readers. Below, we’ve created a clear-pilled codex for everything you need to know about – you know, just girly things.
An endearing term of affection given to pop culture’s sad little men: Succession’s Kendall Roy, Breaking Bad’s Jesse Pinkman, Leon from Resident Evil 4. Submissive and breedable; mostly fictional, but not always. Not a femboy, not queer-coded enough to be a catboy. See: “Girls be like ‘he’s so babygirl’ and it’s the darkest, most brooding, melancholic, tortured man you’ve ever laid eyes on.”
One of the oldest instances of the ‘girl’ online. The girlboss is a hangover from last generation’s internet. She’s an empowered neoliberal feminist who wants to carve out her own path. She’s painfully millennial-coded, business-minded and entitled. She loves Glossier and the grind, hates the new guard (hence, girlboss, gaslight, gatekeep). Notable examples include ShEOs such as Molly-Mae and Sophia Amoruso. Needless to say, she didn’t pass the vibe shift.
See also: girl failure.
A micro-aesthetic native to GirlTok; a product of algorithm-curated trends online. A self-aware willingness to prescribe to viral trend cycles by welcoming its absurdity, usually accompanied with a blue colour palette and good vibes.
See also: coconut girl, tomato girl, strawberry girl, pickled red onion girl.
Another microtrend defined by its ‘tropical summer’ aesthetic. Think: shell necklaces, hibiscus print, frozen yoghurt and beach-ready hair. The coconut girl loves Lana Del Rey and dolphin emojis. Basically a VSCO girl for the younger generation.
The clean girl is hyper-flawless, minimal and effortlessly chic. She has glowing skin and glossy lips, slicked-back hair and gold hoops (she never forgets to wear SPF). Loves pilates, vlogging her 10-step skincare routine, and journaling before bed.
See also: That Girl.
A girl dinner is a dinner eaten by a girl who eats on her own. A girl dinner is uncooked and low-labour – sometimes low-cal. It’s an assemblage of snacks on a plate, or platter, intended as a full meal. It’s also the trend that launched a thousand other girl-related trends onto your feeds, never forget.
First used as a pejorative term by men to describe women online in the 2010s, the E-girl nowadays refers to an Extremely Online girl who loves anime and video games, has brightly-coloured hair, heart stamps and a rosy nose. She loves Sanrio and cn probably be found on Twitch, or listening to Ashnikko and Grimes.
The antithesis of the girlboss, the girlfailure embraces the Ls. She understands that girlbossing is tied up in privilege and neoliberal intent, and would much rather sit at home all day and do nothing. She‘s a girloser, girlpathetic, femcel-adjacent, whose empty savings account can be attributed to her pristine girlmath. But let‘s face it, we all need a girlbreak sometimes... Go fail, girl!
See also: lazy girl jobs.
Remember summer 2022? That was the year of the feral girl: a time to wreak havoc and let loose. Basically Hot Girl Summer with a chaotic, grimy and messy twist.
See also: party girl, rat girl
Another viral TikTok trend, the lalala girl was first popularised in April 2023. It refers to an extroverted and outgoing girl who’s kind of immature but popular.
See also: okokok girl.
The lazy girl just wants a girlbreak. She despises hustle culture and advocates for quiet quitting. Maybe she’s a girlfailure who needs to pay the bills, so enlists in a lazy girl job. But don’t let the name fool you: a lazy girl isn’t actually lazy, she just understands the hypocrisies of hustle culture, and values work-life balance without skipping lunch breaks.
Girl math is the mental gymnastics a girl does to justify her indulgent purchases. Want to spend hundreds on a state-of-the-art, face-sculpting kit you saw on Instagram? Do the girl math. What about returning a £50 top in exchange for a forever bag on Vestiaire? You guessed it: girl math.
See also: boy math
The opposite of a lalala girl, the okokok girl is introverted, an overthinker who’s more laid-back and chill. She’s logical and mature, but shy and socially awkward.
An updated version of feral girl, the party girl is disastercore on legs. She realises that being a clean girl 24/7 is unrealistic, and would much rather embrace the messier side of things. She can be found at the afters sniffing Mkat and wearing slept-in makeup, as per Julia Fox. She’s most likely found herself featured on Dalstonsuperstoned on more than one occasion.
PICKLED RED ONION GIRL
Same as with all the other fruit and veg-related aesthetics, only this one is more autumnal, with deep reds and purples as the main colour palette (it‘s really not that deep).
PICK ME GIRL
The pick me girl isn’t like other girls!!! She’s a cool girl whose internalised misogyny has led her to believe that she doesn’t want girl friends (‘I just prefer guys’), and whose behaviour is geared towards impressing the men in her orbit. She has yet to learn that she is divinely protected and extremely blessed by the girlies.
Just another term that advocates for slow living in a similar strain to lazy girl. A snail girl takes her time and creates to create. As the old phrase goes, slow and steady wins the race. So, let’s pour one out for snail girl.
That girl wakes up at 7AM, goes to Barry’s Bootcamp and eats a nutritional breakfast. She goes to her aspirational job and posts blemish-free and hyper-curated selfies on the feed. She prescribes to the clean girl aesthetic and everyone’s obsessed with her. But girlstop, it’s nearly 2024, and we’d all much rather be side characters than whatever mid agenda this is promoting.
Yet another GirlTok micro-aesthetic, this one is interchangeable with ‘tomato girl summer‘ and describes the sort of girl you find wearing lace and crochet, puffed mini sleeves, and sweetheart necklines.
Vanilla girl loves quiet luxury and cosy minimalism. She wears neutral outfits in soft materials like cashmere, and likely has an extensive collection of Brandy Melville basics in her wardrobe. The trend picked up traction at the beginning of the year, before gaining criticism for almost exclusively featuring white influencers. It’s occassionally been dubbed the ‘new clean girl’, but who’s keeping track at this point?