As the year comes to an end, it’s time to reflect. 2023 has brought us so much good and so much bad. From ‘girl-trends’, the terrifying development of AI, bows, the ‘diva down meme’, the end of Succession, the Barbie movie, endless discourse about the Barbie movie, the Girls revival, the coronation of King Charles (boo), Elon Musk buying Twitter (now called X), the MSCHF big red boots, the Renaissance tour, and so much more.

This year has brought us joy, anguish and everything in between, and as we enter 2024, it’s time to decide what we’re taking into the New Year and what we’re throwing in the bin. Even though nobody asked for this, here’s our list of ins and outs for 2024.

INS:

YOUR MUM JOKES

‘Your mum’ jokes never really went out of style, but I believe it will be the best year of our collective lives if we ‘your mum’ our way through 2024. Mark my words.

‘SWAG’ IS IN, ‘SLAY’ IS OUT  

This was a contentious one at the Dazed office as the team fully agreed that ‘slay’ is out but are hesitant to make ‘swag’ the new supreme. But I make the lists, so I don’t care!!!!! Swag 4ever!!!!!!!!!!! 

BACKPACKS (BUT YOU MUST HAVE SPACIAL AWARENESS) 

Ladies... It’s time to put your tote bags into retirement. We need to admit that tote bags are disastrous for our arms and backs. I know tote bags may look better, but having a strong, sturdy backpack on your back feels like no other. It’s time for us to reconcile ourselves with the truth.

GINGER-BASED DRINKS

Ginger beer, ginger-based kombucha, fresh ginger tea, iced ginger honey lemon tea, ginger lemonade, ginger martini cocktail… I could go on. They are the drinks of 2024.

LEARNING A NICHE LANGUAGE TO GOSSIP IN 

It is seriously not OK to record people gossiping about their friends in public, yet people do it anyway. We’ve all seen the TikToks where one ‘good samaritan’ hears a group of strangers shit-talking their friend and decides to record them and call them out on the internet. The people who do that are losers! But in our digital age, we must be vigilant against those losers and learn new languages to gossip in.

LISTENING TO MUSIC ON YOUR PHONE, OUT LOUD THROUGH YOUR PHONE SPEAKER 

Firstly, earphones are overwhelming. Secondly, we’re told that we need to buy speakers to listen to music properly, but what’s wrong with listening to music through the speaker of your phone? If you have a working phone speaker and cup to put it in, you’re good to go, baby. Down with consumerism! DIY is in.

GOTHIC FICTION À LA WUTHERING HEIGHTS

With the rise of Southern Gothic pop due to Ethel Cain, it’s only reasonable to assume that gothic fiction will soon follow. Being haunted by ghosts and having wild erotic fantasies in remote landscapes... it’s all very sexy, isn’t it?

PRESS-ON-NAILS

With the cost of living crisis, it’s getting harder and harder to continue the beauty practices we used to indulge in, but press-on nails (with the right glue) are a fantastic alternative. Especially since earlier this year, a study revealed that the UV lamps used to dry gel nails can kill cells and could be linked to skin cancer.

CHEAP WIGS

Sometimes, a wig can just look like a wig. Why does it need to look real? Does it serve, or does it not serve? That’s the real question.

SHANDIES

I love a lager shandy. I love them, especially when the lemonade is more than the beer, and it’s essentially just lemonade. Our political editor, James Greig, feels very strongly about Radler Beer, which is essentially shandy in a can because we don’t really have them in the UK. Enough is enough. Give us shandies in a tin!

HAVING A NEMESIS

Caroline Calloway was motivated by her nemesis Natalie Beach to write a bigger and better memoir than her this year, and she succeeded. While it may feel nasty to have hate in your heart or discontent about someone, it’s one hell of a motivator. Find your 2024 nemesis today.

OUTS:

CELEBRITY PODCASTS

Celebrity podcasts had their time in the sun during lockdown, but now I’m begging us to rise up collectively as a society to end them. These people don’t know what they’re talking about, so please stop. I’m asking nicely :( 

CELEBRITIES ISSUING STATEMENTS 

We actually do not give a fuck about your stance on anything! Capitalist pigs!

CELEBRITIES

Society has progressed past the need for celebrities ❤️

BALLET FLATS (WITH NO ARCH SUPPORT OR HEEL) 

As an orthopaedic shoe survivor who used to wear flat-ass shoes that caused my knees to knock together whenever I walked, I am ADAMANTLY against any shoe that is bad for the health of your feet and legs. Protect, love and treat them well (with a shoe that has adequate arch support).

STREAMING SERVICES

It’s time to start illegally streaming my friends. Every streaming service has increased in price, and they’re now trying to bring in ads to force us to pay more for ad-free services. This calculated misery must end, and illegal streaming services could be our saviour. An illegal streaming service will never do you wrong (it might bring your laptop a virus, but that’s a small price to pay for the revolution).

THE ‘INSTAGRAM STORE CORE’ HOME AESTHETIC  

Coined by Charlie Squire of Evil Female fame, the ‘Instagram Store Core’ aesthetic is the “bright yet non-aggressive colours, shiny plastics, checkerboard rugs, wannabe-Matisse prints. It’s playful without being childish, loud without being offensive, mismatched while being unified. It’s avant-basic mixed with Scandinavian design mixed with a touch of the Memphis School, and it’s the interior decorating style-du-jour of the internet.” 

And it’s very, very boring! I never want to see it again. Thank you! x

INDIE SLEAZE

It was never really in, though, was it? No matter how hard journos (some of whom I am happy to call co-workers) tried. Sorry guys :( 

LITTY LENGY SOHO PUB DWELLERS

The hipsters of 2023. Be gone.

LOBOTOMY DISCOURSE

Stop saying you want a lobotomy. If the last few months have taught us anything, it’s that we need more critical thinkers in this world. People are so stupid. Thinking critically is very IN.

MOVING TO BERLIN

We get it, you’re so kinky and want to go to random sex parties… but I don’t wanna hear about it anymore. Just go!!

MEN’S MENTAL HEALTH

HEAR ME OUT: Talking about men’s mental health only ever in response to women talking about feminism is out. You should care about men’s mental health all the time!! Not only when you want to dunk on women.

LONDON

Let’s start over again! PLEASE.

DANIEL RODGERS

No comment. He knows why!