Racism is fine but Elon’s penis is off-limits, got it x
It has finally happened: at the end of October, as a terrifying Halloween surprise to us all, Elon Musk completed his Twitter takeover. After sauntering into the company’s HQ holding a sink, the professional monkey-abuser wasted no time in getting to work. He immediately fired CEO Parag Agrawal, chief legal officer Vijaya Gadde (who was also responsible for Donald Trump’s suspension), and approximately half of the company’s total workforce.
Ever since Musk began talking about buying Twitter, he’s been wittering on about reviewing the platform’s content moderation policy to make the platform less ‘censorious’. He’s vowed to make the site a bastion of “free speech” and even quipped that “comedy is now legal on Twitter”. But now that the self-professed “free speech absolutist” is at the helm of the company, it seems that the opposite is true.
On Sunday night, he stated that any Twitter handles engaging in impersonation without clearly specifying that they’re parody accounts will be permanently suspended. “Previously, we issued a warning before suspension, but now that we are rolling out widespread verification, there will be no warning,” he tweeted. Suspiciously, he issued the warning after a torrent of users with blue ticks changed their Twitter display names to ‘Elon Musk’.
Previously, we issued a warning before suspension, but now that we are rolling out widespread verification, there will be no warning.— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 6, 2022
This will be clearly identified as a condition for signing up to Twitter Blue.
Twitter user @arb, who had 50,000 followers, changed her Twitter icon to a picture of a young and balding Elon and her name to ‘Elon Musk (real)’. After tweeting some gems, such as “siri how many kids do I have”, “my wife left me”, and “my penis is NOT weird”, she was apparently permanently banned from the platform.
Comedian Kathy Griffin was also wiped from the site after tweeting about the US midterm elections under Musk’s name, urging voters to vote for the Democrats. “After much spirited discussion with the females in my life. I’ve decided that voting blue for their choice is only right (They’re also sexy females, btw.) #VoteBlueToProtectWomen,” she tweeted, before Musk banned her too.
Local hero @arb is teaching the Twitter CEO the value of the extant verification system and its rules. pic.twitter.com/4g2E4z4pMw— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) November 4, 2022
Other high-profile users such as Sarah Silverman, Chris Kluwe, and Mad Men star Rich Sommer also had their accounts suspended after changing their names and photos to match Musk’s. “I am a freedom of speech absolutist and I eat doody for breakfast every day,” Silverman tweeted before being temporarily locked out of her account.
Kluwe remains locked out of his account after impersonating Musk and tweeting: “There is nothing better than waking up and enjoying a fresh, steaming cup of my own urine. Such a tangy way to start the day, and it’s scientifically proven to help brain cells grow. If you want to be like me, drink your pee.”
Apparently, in spite of Musk’s love of tomfoolery – wasn’t his sink gag hilarious? – even he has his limits. And he draws the line – not at racism or homophobia or ableism or misinformation – but at jokes about his fucked-up genitals.