Boris Johnson, Nick Cannon, and Elon Musk have more in common than meets the eye
If you’ve been on certain corners of the internet recently, it’s likely you’ve seen references to being “submissive and breedable” or women on TikTok showing off their pregnant bellies after their “breeding kink went too far”.
A breeding kink is, as you might have guessed, the experience of intense sexual attraction at the thought of being impregnated or impregnating someone. Far from an obscure, niche fetish, breeder kinks are having a moment right now: on TikTok, videos about breeding kinks have racked up millions of views, while breeder porn on PornHub is hugely popular.
It’s kind of adjacent to the more mainstream world of BDSM – with the dom typically inseminating the sub – and there’s something undeniably quite hot and primal about it. People with a breeding fetish can also enjoy the element of risk involved in having unprotected sex, and again, I think we can all agree that a little danger can spice things up in the bedroom (even if you think risking having to care for a literal other human for 18 years is a step too far).
There are even signs that some of the most unhinged men on the planet have breeder kinks. Outgoing Prime Minister Boris Johnson has seven confirmed children (likely more, too). Nick Cannon also currently has seven children, with four of these born in the last year. “I’m like a seahorse out here with how I’m procreating,” he boasted in a recent interview.
Then on Wednesday, it came to light that tech mogul Elon Musk had fathered twins with a top Neuralink executive, born just weeks before he welcomed a daughter with Grimes. “Doing my best to help the underpopulation crisis. A collapsing birth rate is the biggest danger civilization faces by far,” he tweeted after the news broke (to which Nick Cannon replied: “Right there with you my Brother!”), following up with “I hope you have big families and congrats to those who already do!”
Breeder kinks: fine. The thought of Elon Musk having sex: not fine. Though perhaps it’s not that shocking that powerful men like these are keen to ‘sow their wild oats’ (ew). Maybe they don’t have breeder kinks at all – maybe they’re just narcissists who genuinely think they’re doing the world a favour by passing on their genes. Musk has tweeted “if each successive generation of smart people has fewer kids, that’s probably bad” before, and knowing the size of his ego, he probably thinks it’s civic duty to ejaculate in as many fertile women as possible.
Doing my best to help the underpopulation crisis.— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 7, 2022
A collapsing birth rate is the biggest danger civilization faces by far.
Musk is also a firm believer in the theory of population collapse – that is, the idea that decreasing birth rates means we are actually heading towards an irreversible crisis. For years now, he’s argued that the declining birth rate is the biggest threat to mankind – more so than climate change or nuclear war. The solution, according to Musk? Simply have a big family (I doubt Musk, who is worth $224.6 billion, would even notice the childcare costs leaving his bank account).
So do these men really have breeder kinks? Or is Bojo just on a mission to raise an army of blonde-haired oafs who will avenge him in years to come? Is Musk just narcissistic enough to believe his genes need to be passed on? And does Nick Cannon just like to be called a ‘filthy little seahorse’ in bed? I don’t know – but actually, I don’t want to know anyway.