Yesterday (February 22), Boris Johnson laid out the government’s plan to ease England out of its – *checks notes* – third lockdown amid the coronavirus crisis. The prime minister offered his ‘roadmap’ of tentative dates for reopening the economy and restarting our lives.

Highlights go as follows: on March 8, schools will reopen; on March 29, you can meet six mates outside; by April 12, you can get a haircut, return to the gym, go shopping, and – importantly – drink with six of your pals in a beer garden (no meal required); on May 17, you can socialise indoors; then, by June 21, all limits on social contact will be lifted and you can finally (finally) go clubbing again.

If, unlike me, you are an optimist, you are probably rejoicing about nightclubs! festivals! pints in the pub with 30 of my work colleagues who I secretly hate and have nothing to talk to about!

However, if, like me, you have lockdown Stockholm Syndrome and don’t believe a word that comes out of BoJo’s mouth, you likely have no faith that any of these promises will come true.

Either way, you probably like memes. So, here’s some about lockdown (probably not) ending on June 21.