Not me then
Yesterday (February 22), Boris Johnson laid out the government’s plan to ease England out of its – *checks notes* – third lockdown amid the coronavirus crisis. The prime minister offered his ‘roadmap’ of tentative dates for reopening the economy and restarting our lives.
Highlights go as follows: on March 8, schools will reopen; on March 29, you can meet six mates outside; by April 12, you can get a haircut, return to the gym, go shopping, and – importantly – drink with six of your pals in a beer garden (no meal required); on May 17, you can socialise indoors; then, by June 21, all limits on social contact will be lifted and you can finally (finally) go clubbing again.
If, unlike me, you are an optimist, you are probably rejoicing about nightclubs! festivals! pints in the pub with 30 of my work colleagues who I secretly hate and have nothing to talk to about!
However, if, like me, you have lockdown Stockholm Syndrome and don’t believe a word that comes out of BoJo’s mouth, you likely have no faith that any of these promises will come true.
Either way, you probably like memes. So, here’s some about lockdown (probably not) ending on June 21.
Imagine the collective chaos of every gay club in the country when UK Hun comes on for the first time omg. I’m giddy at the mere prospect— jack rem x (@jackremmington) February 22, 2021
june 21 i will not leave the threshold of the club bathroom for fear i have not informed every woman who enters how STUNNING they are— Anna Cafolla (@AnnaCafolla) February 22, 2021
giving us 4 months notice to get hot is the best thing this government has ever done— Louis Staples (@LouisStaples) February 22, 2021