What we learnt from Azealia Banks’ weekend at Elon Musk’s house

Azealia Banks’ trip to LA has been unusual. Yesterday, we reported that the singer had been waiting at Elon Musk’s house to finish her song with Grimes, but Grimes wasn’t there. Using her Instagram story to broadcast her adventures to the world, she said her time dealing with the new couple had been akin to “a real episode of Get Out”.

In the aftermath, she made several explosive claims, one that seems to have caught a lot of attention is the fact she said the Tesla chairman had been tweeting on acid. Given that Musk’s online presence has become increasingly bizarre, investors might be better off checking developments via Azealia Banks’ Instagram than … wherever you check for stock-based news.

A Tesla spokesperson has since said her claims were “complete nonsense.” While Gizmodo also received a statement from Musk that said he “has never even met (Azealia) or communicated with her in any way.” However, we’re still trying to digest what we’ve read, so here’s what we’ve learnt.

ACID TWEETS ARE BAD FOR BUSINESS

Recently, Musk’s tweets have included saying Tesla will start selling “short shorts” as merch, as well as thigh-high sockboots and thigh high socks with pockets for lipliner and cards. He also made a recent claim that he has “funding secured” to take Tesla private at $420 a share which makes it easier for shareholders to sue Tesla for fraud.

So Azealia’s weekend stay at Musk’s house makes for interesting information for those interested in the tech firm financially. She alleges that she watched Grimes try to “coddle her boyfriend for being too stupid to know not to go on twitter while on acid,” before calling both of them “crackheads”. “He’s tweeting on acid fucking up his own stocks and what not. A real life dummy,” she added.

AZEALIA DOES NOT LIKE ELON MUSK

All things considered, it’s safe to say Azealia does not like Elon very much. Throughout the rant she referred to him as a “beta male” and said he took steroids and got hair plugs to make a more alpha transformation. She also said he was “given his start in life” from his family’s wealth which she alleges was amassed from emerald and ore mines during apartheid in South Africa. Which is something that has been reported and questioned since Business Insider looked into the business earlier this year.

Business Insider later got in touch with her for further information and she told them that she had in fact seen Musk despite his recent claims. “I saw him in the kitchen tucking his tail in between his legs scrounging for investors to cover his ass after that tweet. He was stressed and red in the face.”

“He’s not cute at all in person,” she added.

THE WHOLE THING MAY HAVE BEEN AN ELABORATE INVITATION TO A THREESOME

Azealia said that in the run-up to this meeting, Grimes had made several references to her boyfriend thinking she was hot. “I should have stayed my ass in NYC. They invited me here to stay and told me I couldn’t bring my boyfriend,” she wrote. “It was probably some weird threesome sex shit to begin with.”

“The nerve of these crackheads to think I would put my fully human lips on them,” she added. Afterwards, the outspoken musician took a lot of digs at Grimes for exposing so much of her boyfriend’s business in the first place, calling her an “idiot” and saying Musk only took her to the Met Gala to “hide his shrinking dick from Amber Heard.”  

BUT MOST OF ALL, ELON MUSK’S HOUSE DOESN’T SOUND FUN AT ALL

So Azealia’s rant is a little off-kilter, but we’ve come to expect unfiltered eccentricity from her and so little shocks us in that respect. What does shock us is how much of a bad time you can have in a billionaire’s house as a guest. There was no talk of pool parties, eating off silver spoons or round-the-clock food service. It just sounds like abject blackness being trapped in some sort of Silicon Valley remake of Trainspotting. Where were all the robot butlers?