Nikkie de Jager AKA NikkieTutorials has shared an update with her followers after she and her fiancé Dylan were robbed at gunpoint in their home.

On August 8, the couple were held at gunpoint by three people during a break-in at their house in the Netherlands. “Dylan and myself got attacked but physically we’re okay. Mentally it’s a whole other story,” Nikkie posted on Instagram at the time. Now she has uploaded a new video to let her fans know she is doing OK.

Visibly near tears throughout the video, Nikkie says 2020 has been “a ride.” “In these years I’ve got to do some of the most amazing things but also shared my darkest days with you,” she says. “And I can tell you today is one of those dark days.” Nikkie says that one of her worst nightmares had come true and although she can’t share too much because the investigation is still ongoing and because it is still too traumatising, she wanted everyone to know that she is ok.

“Having one of those worst nightmares come true is very surreal, but it also puts a lot of things in perspective. Now more than ever, you realise that family is everything. And being in good health is even more important,” she says. “So maybe, one day, I'll be able to tell you everything. But right now, it's impossible for my mental state.”

She continues: “I’m not going to lie, it is so hard, it’s going to take a lot of time for Dylan and myself and our family and friends to grow from this and to keep going with life even though life does not hold back.” Nikkie says the terrifying experience has been the latest in a series of very difficult events in her life including finding out recently that her best friend has breast cancer.

“It’s like, when is it enough? When is life going to be like ‘OK, you’re good people here’s some good things.’ Every time you’re like ‘OK, we’re on the right path again, we’re doing great again, life comes knocking on your door and it busts you down.”

During this time, Nikkie says she has turned to make-up, as she always has, when things get tough. Sharing that make-up has helped her through her darkest days she says it is “literally therapy” for her and so she was taking this moment to clear her mind and focus on the “Colour Reveal” Barbie-inspired look she created in the tutorial. “I know this is going to sound so silly to most of you but make-up has always been this escape for me, it has been this way of clearing my thoughts, of getting everything in place in my mind and it is what I so desperately need in this time, at this moment.”

Thanking her followers for all their support, now and always, Nikkie says knowing that she has such a huge group of people rooting for her and wishing her the best is invaluable. “Life is really unfair, but it’s up to us to keep fighting every single second of the day,” she ends the video saying. “Make-up will always be therapy for me and I want to thank you for providing a platform where I can truly be me and let go of all fears.”

Earlier this year, there was an outpouring of love and support for Nikkie after she came out as transgender. Although circumstances meant that she wasn’t given the opportunity that everyone deserves – coming out in their own time, when they are ready and choose to – she said that it has been incredibly freeing to feel like she can finally be 100 per cent herself. “If I look at myself today I feel happy, I feel loved, I feel welcomed and I feel like the most heaviest weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”