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Talking to people that like to be hypnotised for sex

Here we find out more about trance-sexuality, the practice of being put under a spell in the bedroom

When you think of hypnosis, you may think Covent Garden illusionists, badly made spiral gifs on Tumblr, swinging pocket watches and campy vampire movies. But hypnotism has its place in the bedroom – specifically in a world of extreme fetishism and enhanced submissive/dominant relationships in BDSM environments. People are getting off on being psychologically conditioned to pleasure one or other.

Hypnofetishism is the act of inducing some kind of trance or mindful state that possesses a sexually submissive individual to feel and act a certain way, whether blank and mindless or impersonal and obedient. By using NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) to psychologically condition predictions and assumptions into the mind of a submissive, some trained individuals – armed with trigger words and demands – are able to undergo hypnosis in the sheets.

There is a wide variety of things that can be done with hypnosis, both erotically and otherwise. Hypnofetishism is about creating or amplifying sensations and invoking a near-catatonic state before engaging in sexual activity as an entranced individual.

Trance sexuality goes significantly deeper than just an exaggerated sub/dom relationship and raises a myriad of questions: can someone really consent to be in a condition where they cannot consent, and how do these ‘con non-con’ relationships work? It is, in theory, simple. ‘Con non-con’ scenarios involve a universal agreement made beforehand to either ignore or allow the usual rules of consent, perhaps including commands to stop. The act of hypnosis itself is erotic and relationship-affirming for many “power exchange” couples as the subject surrenders control and opens themselves to vulnerability.

To find out more, we speak to three hypnofetishists who use the practice to fulfil their erotic desires in a world where pleasure is obedience and obedience is pleasure.

JASON MITCHELL, MALE (DOMINANT)

I was always fascinated by the concept of hypnosis, even as a kid. I’d see stuff on daytime talk shows and something about it just grabbed me. When I turned eighteen I started exploring some of the online communities. Typically (in sex), hypnosis is performed before any bedroom activities to establish post-hypnotic suggestions and put in place post-hypnotic triggers too. For example, inhibiting or controlling orgasms with a simple word or phrase. Or, maybe you're feeling a bit shy and hypnosis can help you create a persona to play out fantasies and help you relax.

Communication is key. I have two partners that I work with very closely and that I know very well. We have an agreement for non-consensual consent. But this is because we have clearly communicated limits and they trust that I will not cross any lines, nor would I ever think to take advantage of that trust.

“I absolutely love watching someone’s facial muscles relax and smooth out, particularly when eyes begin to roll up. Reaching that depth and intimacy is just wonderful for me”

That being said, one of my favorite quotes from a good friend of mine that I've started using as well is: "Despite that quote that ‘consent is sexy”, consent isn't sexy. It’s mandatory and the mark of a decent human being!”. When we are learning there are little mistakes that may be made. I’ve had people hide psychological conditions from me in the past. Those can cause bad reactions (also referred to as abreactions) while the subject is under hypnosis.

I absolutely love watching someone’s facial muscles relax and smooth out, particularly when eyes begin to roll up. Reaching that depth and intimacy is just wonderful for me. It’s also a huge turn on to use post-hypnotic triggers and suggestions and watch my play partner’s reactions change as they get more and more into the scene.

What’s been absolutely wonderful is how much more accepted hypnosis as a concept and form of entertainment or therapy has become in the last few years. It’s made the idea and concept of it much easier to bring up. Every year there’s more and more videos on YouTube, along with numerous books published.

ANONYMOUS, GENDERFLUID (DOMINANT AND SUBMISSIVE)

Like many people, I was a hypnofetishist before I realised it was a thing. I was into it even before I hit puberty. But I didn’t explore the community until about a year and a half ago. Originally, it was a power fantasy for me. I liked the idea of having control over a sexual partner, particularly if they could be made to feel attraction or arousal. In these personal fantasies, consent wasn’t involved, even though I knew I would never act them out unless I had a consenting partner.

Some people are interested in using hypnosis to force someone to have sex against their will, but for me it was usually using hypnosis to make them desire sex and then willingly go with it. However, once I started listening to hypnosis audio files, I discovered how good trance feels. As a sub, I tend to enjoy being brainwashed, drugged, made mindless or blank, put in altered states of mind (like being a doll, or having a simplistic/docile mind like a cow). I’m also exploring the feelings of intense vulnerability and smallness that come from losing control. I’ve found that being taken care of when vulnerable is one of the best feelings in the world.

“I’m also exploring the feelings of intense vulnerability and smallness that come from losing control. I’ve found that being taken care of when vulnerable is one of the best feelings in the world”

As a hypnotist, I work with a lot of different concepts. For instance, inducing automatic agreement as a way of brainwashing, programming someone like a robot and memory play, where I have someone forget what I did to them but see the effects later.

I didn’t get to play with a fellow hypnofetishist face to face until this year. I attended a workshop "speed dating" thing where you meet people and trance them in short periods of time. It was incredibly exciting to watch a girl’s eyelids flutter and eyes roll back just by talking to her for five minutes. These are the types of thrills I can’t get other places.

With the exception of a small percentage of extremely suggestible subjects, most people can resist hypnotic influence if it conflicts with their core desires. The real danger lies in techniques used to coerce or trick people into going along with something with which they are uncomfortable, something that is common in so-called “pickup artist” communities but is sometimes seen in hypnofetish communities as overlap.

ANONYMOUS, GENDERQUEER (BOTTOM)

I started dating a guy who was a hypnotist. I really liked the local community, and realised that it tied into my vampire fetish, which has a fair amount of mind control elements to it. I also have some chronic pain and anxiety issues that seemed to be helped by hypnosis, which made connecting with people a lot easier. I’ve primarily done in-person hypnosis with people in my local hypnokink community. It’s become a huge component in much of my sex play and in my relationships. My partners and I use it to enhance our feelings for things like doll play involving immobility or poseability, hypnotically controlled breath play, enhanced role play, internal hypnotic journeys, sensory play, etc

“I’m a vampire fetishist, so being able to hypnotically experience being bitten by a vampire, or believing I’m a vampire, is gonna do it pretty much every time for me”

Being in hypnotic states tends to really open us up emotionally, which sometimes means that our subconscious decides to let out some feelings we had been putting off dealing with. Under hypnosis we are just as able to consent or not consent as we normally are. Since we’re in a significantly altered state, we might consent to things we normally wouldn’t consent to, but that doesn’t mean we can't consent. I’m a vampire fetishist, so being able to hypnotically experience being bitten by a vampire, or believing I’m a vampire, is gonna do it pretty much every time for me.

I don’t really date or play with people outside of the kink/BDSM community, so people are usually pretty accepting, and almost always curious. I tell my non-kinky friends, and some of my family, that I’m into hypnosis and leave the erotic part out unless they ask specifically about that.