Three things are certain in life: death, taxes, and Brits descending on Europe every summer like a plague of locusts. Despondent with our lot on this sad, grey little island, swathes of us cling onto the prospect of mainlining fluorescent cocktails and gobbling Lays on a sun lounger in Spain/Greece/Portugal/Croatia just to get through our working lives.

Recently, though, our continental counterparts have been taking a stand against the swarms of British tourists touching down on their turf year after year. In 2020, Spain announced they would be banning pub crawls on Magaluf’s infamous strip; in 2023, Amsterdam warned that young, British men who wanted to come to the city for a “messy” weekend to “stay away”; and in 2024, Prague, a popular destination for young Brits on stag dos, similarly announced that they were banning night-time pub crawls. More recently, Spaniards in Barcelona sprayed tourists with water pistols as part of an anti-tourism protest.

It’s easy to see why anti-tourist sentiment is spreading on the continent – there is, unfortunately, a great deal of truth behind the ‘Brits abroad’ stereotype. With this in mind, we’ve compiled a handy guide to behaving yourself on holiday. If you’ve got a trip booked this summer, read on.

BE QUIET <3

One surefire way to spot Brits abroad is by their gratingly loud voices. Don’t be like these people. While you might be on holiday, all the locals around you are just trying to get on with their lives and likely aren’t appreciating your minute-by-minute breakdown of how wasted you got last night (and, for the record, many of your fellow tourists probably aren’t enjoying your running commentary either). Whether you’re on the metro or at a bar, please have a little shame and remember to use your inside voice.

STOP DRINKING SO MUCH!!!!

I get it – pints are seldom under £4 in the UK these days, and once you step foot on the continent it’s easy to feel like a kid in a candy shop with all the cut-price booze on offer. But just because a jug of some nondescript sugary cocktail is half the price of what it would be back home doesn’t mean you need to order five. Make the most of it and have a good time by all means, but try not to overdo it and end up plastered before it’s even 11pm. Nobody wants to be woken up by you and your friends singing Sweet Caroline at the top of your lungs as you stumble back to your Airbnb. Your bank balance will thank you too.

DON’T LEAVE BODILY FLUIDS ON THE STREET

Related to the above – please don’t piss or vomit on the street. I know the UK is such a dump that a pissy, vomity pavement often isn’t even worth baulking at, but lots of European cities are actually, like, nice? And people would generally like to keep it that way? All of which is to say: please, please stop treating these perfectly nice places like your massive personal toilet.

PUT THE DAMN SPF ON

You are not harder than the sun. You will end up in a lot of pain. Plus, sun damage is no joke.

LEARN THE LANGUAGE 

Nobody is saying you need to be fluent in multiple different languages, but at least try to learn the words for “please” and “thank you”, and ideally a couple of other useful phrases too. While you might be chuffed with yourself for finding a little off-the-beaten-track taverna after watching an inordinate number of TikToks captioned things like “ten of Lisbon’s best hidden gems”, you can’t expect to stroll into a more authentic establishment and immediately expect all the staff to understand what you mean when you start asking “if the battered prawns are gluten-free”. Don’t take out your frustration on them when, really, you’re the one who couldn’t be bothered to have a stab at Portuguese on Duolingo. (If you’re really struggling, an apologetic smile can go a long way.)

LEAN INTO THE CULTURE

Perhaps the bus was meant to turn up five minutes ago; perhaps your waiter is taking ages to get the bill. Whatever it is, remember that you’re on holiday, not on your way to a meeting at the office: try not to be impatient and instead lean into the slower pace of life. In general, try to be flexible and adapt to the way things are done wherever it is you’re holidaying – don’t have a tantrum if the bar doesn’t serve Blue Lagoon pitchers like they do in Spoons back home. Embrace the local culture – you might like it!!!

REMEMBER YOU’RE A VISITOR

Often, there’s a lot of animosity towards tourists in major European cities, and this isn’t without reason. This doesn’t apply to all of us, but many Brits really do become even more loutish, rowdy and annoying the second they touch down in a foreign country. It’s not exactly fun to share your space with a bunch of overgrown, perpetually drunk babies, so try not to take it personally if the locals don’t take too kindly to the dulcet tones of your English – chances are they’ve been through the ringer with some particularly bad Brits in the past (worth noting too that the proliferation of Airbnbs, driven by tourist demand, has led to rents increasing for locals in a lot of major European cities like Barcelona). Above everything, be polite and mindful of the fact that you’re a guest in their country. Don’t treat people’s homes like your personal playground.