‘No Ordinary Love’: Oisín McKenna on the demonisation of commitment issues

Irish author Oisín McKenna has been making waves in the literary world with his debut novel, Evenings and Weekends. The release this year even brought with it comparisons to the likes of Sally Rooney and Torrey Peters. So McKenna’s new-found fans will be pleased to learn they don’t need to wait for his second novel to keep reading his work – Hinge has partnered the rising author up with a real couple, Rahul and George, for the No Ordinary Love anthology, an 80-page anthology of modern romantic prose challenging love story tropes and cliched narratives by celebrating the plot twists of real love. It features the stories of six real couples who met on Hinge, written by six groundbreaking authors: Roxane Gay, R. O. Kwon, Oisín McKenna, John Paul Brammer, Brontez Purnell, and Isle McElroy. 

You can read Rahul and George’s story now at No-Ordinary-Love.co or grab a physical copy of No Ordinary Love in New York or London from September 23-30. Ahead of the release, we spoke to McKenna about London being the “most romantic city in the world”, meeting the right person at the wrong time and other lessons from working with a real Hingle couple throughout this process.

What’s a love story you wish you wrote and why?

Oisín McKenna: Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan Novels are these big literary crossover hits that I really adore. There’s lots of romantic love in those stories and lots of sex, but the real love story is between the narrator, Elena, and her best friend, Lila, who she’s known since she was a kid, and their lives have intertwined for many years. It’s definitely not straightforwardly like affectionate love, and it’s very chaotic and, at times, jealous, but it’s also really intense and beautiful. I really admire people who write about the intersections between intense platonic love and romantic love.

This isn’t your first time writing about relationships. Did starting with a real couple change your approach and process?

Oisín McKenna: I’ve written a lot about relationships. Some are inspired by mine but are also fictional, and either way, I’ve got full ownership to imagine and interpret it how I want. When it’s inspired by real-life situations that involve real-life people, there are ways I’ve got to temper that. So, the process was different in the sense that it wasn’t my story; I was facilitating the telling of somebody else's story. Making sure they felt good and that they were accurately reflected was such a priority, and so much of the process involved having sensitivity and respect towards their story.

What surprised you the most about Rahul and George’s relationship story or timeline?

Oisín McKenna: One of the really lovely things about it is how flexible they both were in adjusting their preconceived expectations of their own relationship based on unfolding realities. That’s something I really admired because they both came into the situation knowing it wasn’t the right time for them to be in a relationship for really different reasons. But they also threw themselves into it in a go-with-the-flow way, which is not that common. People usually find it really difficult to part with their expectations, even when presented with a new situation that might be worth straying from their former desires to meet.

Is there a person or situation in the story that resonated with your life or approach to relationships the most and why?

Oisín McKenna: What really resonated with me was the kindness that they showed to each other. I feel like, even in my current relationship, the times I’ve felt really sure and ready to jump into it are the times when I presented a vulnerability, and it was met with kindness. And not just any kindness, the exact kind of kindness I needed at that moment to feel safe and happy.

In the story, you mention that London isn’t an easy place to find a partner. What are the most difficult and exciting elements of setting a love story in a big city?

Oisín McKenna: London is a perfect backdrop for a romantic story. True, it can be a difficult place to find a partner and the dating landscape is complicated for many reasons, but I also find it really romantic. Even when you're not necessarily in a romantic situation, the backdrop of a city can be exciting. Then, when you are in a romantic situation with another person, the city really bolsters it. I think it’s the most romantic city in the world, which is probably not a popular opinion, but it is for me.

I love how you included Rahul and George’s reluctance to be in a committed relationship. Why do you think exploring this fear of commitment is important for conversations around dating and romance today?

Oisín McKenna: It’s really common today. A lot of people dating find it hard to meet someone who simultaneously decides that it’s something they want. Often, one or both people have their eyes on another horizon. I think with how much choice people have in a big city, it can be difficult to settle down with one person, even if you like them. But, beyond that, there’s a tradition of talking about commitment issues in ungenerous terms, like it’s a moral failing to be afraid of commitment. There are so many different reasons why people might be averse to a committed relationship at any given moment, and that’s not a failure on their part. I think it’s worth taking it out of the judgment zone and recognising the complexities of it.

What’s your favourite thing about writing about love? And your least favourite?

Oisín McKenna: I like writing about the mundane bits of love. I feel like it’s often expressed in small things, and I like writing about the daily acts of care and affection. Then, I will avoid cliches in my writing. I’m not afraid of warmth and empathy, and I try to write my characters with kindness, but the challenge is falling on the right side of not being corny but almost getting there.

What makes a digital connection a compelling starting point for a story?

Oisín McKenna: For most people, there’s a pretty big discrepancy between the messiness of their actual persona and digital avatars, whether that's their Hinge profile or Instagram profile. I like that this presents an interesting starting point in the sense that you’re meeting this digital avatar of someone who might be, unavoidably, a much neater picture than the actual person you'll encounter in the world. Bridging that gap is narratively interesting.

Did you learn anything about your approach to relationships while writing Rahul and George’s story?

Oisín McKenna: I feel like the thing I said earlier about experiencing the precise kind of kindness you need from another person, precisely when you need it, definitely reminded me of how important that has been to me. Both George and Rahul were certain this was a bad time for them, but also, it was so abundantly clear, pretty early, that they were each other's right person. That really resonated with me as well and is, in some ways, a similar story to my current relationship. It didn’t teach me anything new, but it reminded me of some really important things about how I've experienced relationships.