Giving kids who never had a name keychain the clout they deserve
Move over hyperreal cakes, it’s all about personalised animal pics now. In a wholesome turn of events, a new type of Instagram account has started to emerge, racking up hundreds of thousands of followers with a simple service: matching a frog, cow, dog, goat, or other animal to your name. It’s essentially an online version of those named keyrings you’d see in souvenir shops circa the early-noughties, only this time, the kids with not-so-common names (read: me) can finally get the clout they deserve.
The idea is simple: accounts pick a theme and add personalised names (usually written in Cool! Fun! Rainbow! fonts), which are then uploaded onto the Insta grid for all to see. Those keen to be matched up with an animal are asked to either DM the account or add their name onto public spreadsheets, which are checked regularly.
One of the most popular, @what_frog_you_are, has amassed over 219,000 followers only a week after its launch on July 9, while @whatdogareyou (which appears to have first posted on July 9) and @what_cow_you_are (which first posted on July 10) have crossed the 100,000 follower mark. But it’s not just animals. You can also see what cursed image you are, what food you are, what Simpsons character you are, what sandwich you are – the list goes on.
“It’s similar to a Buzzfeed quiz without the work,” said @what_cow_are_you. “We get sent a name and we decide what niche character or item that name has the feeling of. I think the random specificity and cute, shocking pics is what intrigues people. I made one because I love cows, and felt the trend taking off. You get a lot of adorable responses and make people's day and that’s why I continue.”
“It’s insane to me that this blew up,” added @what_cursed_image_are_you, who started their account less than a week ago. “It started gaining traction to the point I just got overwhelmed by requests so had to start kinda picking names I was seeing a lot of requests for. And some random ones too, because I wanted to do it for people who have random names like my own.”
Some accounts have become so popular that accounts are resorting to new ways of keeping organised. @what_dog_you_are, for example, features story highlights that collect posts of names that begin with certain letters, making it easier for people to find posts with their name. Other accounts, including @what_frog_you_are, have posted public spreadsheets so that people can find links to posts with their name, and see which names are in the queue to avoid overlapping requests.
“Now that I have so many followers though, people start getting kinda aggressive asking for names and DMing me. Lots of people don’t really take the time to look for their name which is frustrating cause it clogs my DMs,” added @what_cursed_image_are_you. “Honestly, it’s turned out to be so much more work than I expected, I’ve spent three days doing this and this only.”
“I started the account for fun when I saw @what_cat_you_are doing them. I thought I’d make some for my friends and myself, like why not?” @what_frog_you_are told us. “Then outside requests started pouring in and the follower account started increasing exponentially, and I still can’t wrap my mind around the number! I think people just like seeing their name on cute or funny things, like souvenirs! I’m not surprised that it’s viral but it’s crazy that my account was the one that took off so quickly!”
Some accounts are even using their popularity to raise money for non-profit groups and charities, prioritising requests by donation. Among them is @what_image_are_you, whose images range anywhere from a bumble bee smoking a joint to an ominous furby, with donations going towards the likes of For The Gworls, The Okra Project, G.L.I.T.S., and Children of the Night (receipts are posted regularly on its Instagram story).
@what_frog_you_are has so far donated £1,000 to UNICEF to send aid for the crisis in Yemen, while another account, @what_cow_you_are, has opened a GoFundMe page, with all donations going to The Bail Project. “People have actually been asking to donate money to us, so we made a GoFundMe where the money goes directly to a charity,” they said.
Enjoy a selection below while pondering who TF is called Maydelly.