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Sad Sick Girlz

My life changed when one night while laying topless in bed and running my hand over my chest. I performed a half ass breast exam, my first ever, and felt a lump. I was 26. No family history. No gene. No warning. My wedding was three weeks away but I was told they weren’t sure if I would be able to walk down the aisle. I had triple negative breast cancer. It is a small subset of BC that affects mostly younger women and often women of color. It’s not talked about much but it’s the deadliest kind with the highest rate of recurrence. I “lived” through it and came out on the other end without cancer. I don’t consider myself cancer free because I’ll never be free of the PTSD, the survivors guilt, the scars, or the image in the mirror that I don’t recognize. I try and educate others but I’ll never forget the phone call of my diagnosis or me curled up in a ball on my shower floor clutching a clump of my hair. If I never had to hear “at least you’re alive” I would be grateful. Love, @maegmolnar