Get yourself off to democracy
There’s no bigger incentive to vote than watching strangers fuck each other, or so the famous proverb goes. If deciding on the future of your nation wasn’t enough to get you down to the polling station, YouPorn is offering free premium membership to those who vote in the next US election on November 5.
To redeem the offer, you must send in a photo of yourself brandishing the ‘I voted’ sticker or pin. This will go straight to the site’s CGI brand ambassador, Jedy Vales (firstname.lastname@example.org, BTW), who will subsequently release a membership access code.
YouPorn’s announcement follows in the footsteps of rideshare app Lyft, who offered a ‘Ride to Vote’ option last election day, giving users 50 per cent off, as well as free rides to polling stations in deprived areas. Similarly, dating app Tinder launched their ‘Swipe the Vote’ campaign which aimed to provide more information about candidates to users of the app.
One billion YouPorn videos are viewed on average per month, making it a goldmine for potential voters. “There’s no question about how important it is to vote,” Vales explained in a letter, “which is why YouPorn is reminding everyone to get out and do just that on November 5.”
Vales continued: “No matter which party you vote for this election day, we agree with Pamela Anderson that ‘everyone should enjoy a peaceful and sexy life’.” I’m sure the founding fathers are looking down with pride.