I would not be the person I am today without solo gigging. It all started in 2017, when I was an awkward first-year Sussex uni student, struggling to cajole the misfit group of accommodation friends I’d made into coming with me to the local rap gigs I’d found on Facebook. Eventually I started riding the bus into town on my own and, after a few weeks of hitting up the same venues, I started to get recognised, first by door and bar staff, then other fans, and later even the artists themselves. Slowly, I not only gained the confidence to go out alone more often, but also developed a sense of the person I wanted to become. By the end of first year, I‘d gained a whole new group of friends, my own university radio show and had my first few music articles published online. Ten years on, I’ve never looked back. 

There are countless reasons you might decide to go to a gig by yourself. “Sometimes if I like a band that no one else does I just go by myself because I don’t want to miss them,” music fan Esmé tells me, echoing the most common reason shared by solo giggers that I spoke to. Likewise, you might have just moved to a new city and not have an established social network yet, had a friend bail last minute, or simply have different taste to most of your friends. In recent years, solo gigging has become far more popular.

But while it might be less daunting than going to a club night alone, it still doesn’t come naturally to many and there‘s no shame in finding it awkward: “I was worried it would make look like a friendless loser,” a friend joked about attending their first ever solo show last week, echoing feelings that many others will relate to. So, let‘s start with solo gigging, and before you know it you’ll be spending days at a festival in glorious solitude.

For anyone out there in their early 20s, take the leap of faith 🌞
by u/Pesci_Avocado in memes

GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD

Even veteran solo giggers admit that it wasn’t easy to begin with. Esmé recalls being terrified of running into someone she knew (“which, looking back, is stupid,” she reflects). In contrast, others describe pacing up and down trying to psyche themselves up to leave the house. But, as Esmé reminded herself on her first solo gig experience, “You really need to get out of your head and stop centring yourself. No one cares.”

Another solo gigger, Lexie*, tells me that “the most anxiety-inducing part of going out alone is waiting for the music to start.” It might be tempting to compulsively scroll on your phone or make frequent trips to the bar during these uncomfortable moments, but Elodie advises actively sitting with your uncomfortable feelings. “You’ll notice that everybody is too engrossed in their own experiences to keep track of what everyone else is doing, and it will continue to get easier as the show goes on.”

START WITH SEATED GIGS

After bailing on a previous solo gig last minute, Sunny recently saw Weyes Blood perform at the Royal Albert Hall on her own. She found sitting down less anxiety-inducing than a standing gig, as there was less pressure to dance or interact with others. 

HANG BACK

In the likely event that there are no seated tickets, however, my favourite trick is to simply park myself against a back wall. Almost everyone will be facing forward at the stage, so you’ll find you’re basically invisible and can enjoy some added people-watching while you’re at it.

DRESS WITH INTENT

If you’re looking to avoid attention, dress casually, or, if you are looking to make friends, wear band merch – it’s the ultimate conversation starter. 

SPEAK TO STRANGERS... 

“It’s such an important skill to know how to spend time with yourself and really put yourself out there, speak to strangers and make those connections,” says Bea, who describes meeting one of their best friends at a gig in 2019. “To this day I still know so many people who have never been to a gig or even to the cinema on their own.” Meanwhile, Esmé recalls having a “sweet moment of unity with strangers” after crying at the Kimya Dawson gig she attended and looking around self-consciously to find that others were doing the same.

...OR LISTEN TO YOURSELF

Solo giggers Lucas and Henry, meanwhile, describe feeling closer to the music on their own, and enjoy the total freedom of not being tethered to a social group all night. “It’s like a choose-your-own-adventure game,” the latter summed up. “If I find myself wanting to talk to people, you’re never far from a friendly stranger; if I want to lock in and dance with my eyes closed for hours, I can. The whole process just makes me feel really rooted in the present.”