A new survey published today reveals that the majority of UK men believe women expect too much of men in relationships, while over a third of young men believe they are unlovable
A new study has starkly highlighted the extent to which UK men are feeling disenchanted with the modern dating landscape.
The State of UK Men report, produced by equality charities Equimondo and Beyond Equality, independently surveyed over 2,100 UK men and women aged between 18 and 45 to provide a data-driven insight into the state of masculinity in the UK. The research touched on a wide range of interconnected issues – from politics, to men’s mental health, to fatherhood – and also revealed a lot about men’s attitudes towards dating and relationships.
ANTI-FEMINIST SENTIMENTS ARE RIFE
The study revealed high levels of anti-feminist sentiment amongst UK men, with 50 per cent endorsing ‘red pill’ rhetoric underpinned by misogynistic ideology. 67 per cent of men agreed that “the media tends to portray men in a negative light”, while 59 per cent of men agreed that “feminism is about favouring women over men”. This chimes with separate research which has suggested that men and women are becoming increasingly split on political issues, with men generally becoming more right-wing and women becoming more progressive.
MANOSPHERE INFLUENCERS ARE POISONING MEN’S MINDS
UK data from men’s charity Movember shows that men who regularly consume masculinity influencer content are more likely to report frustration with dating. Among these men, 63 per cent believe women should fulfil traditional roles as wives and mothers (compared to 37 per cent among those who do not follow such content), while many others feel that “high-value men” have a significant advantage in the dating pool.
MEN BELIEVE WOMEN’S EXPECTATIONS ARE TOO HIGH
Over the last few decades, more and more women have entered the workforce. As a result, growing numbers of straight women no longer need to ‘rely’ on a male partner to provide for them financially, allowing them to be choosier when dating.
Consequently, many men are feeling unable to live up to women’s rising expectations: 48 per cent of men agree with the statement “I would have to change too much about myself, such as my values or behaviours, to make a serious relationship work long-term”, while 65 per cent believe “women have too many expectations for how men should be in relationships these days”.
Many men also still feel pressured to take on a traditionally masculine role in heterosexual relationships. Many believe women still expect them to be breadwinners: 57 percent of men agreed that “women only seek out men who either have a lot of money or a really good job”, while 44 per cent of men aged 18 to 34 believe “a serious relationship is too big a financial commitment”.
DATING APP FATIGUE ENDURES
It’s no secret that women are tired of using dating apps, but the findings suggest men are sick of them too. More than half of men (54 per cent) agreed that “most men don’t stand a chance to meet someone on dating apps.” Nevertheless, 52 per cent of men (and 60 per cent of women) said they use dating apps in the hope of finding a long-term relationship.
Relatedly, more men than women use dating apps for casual sex: 49 per cent of men used apps for this purpose, compared to just 23 per cent of women.
AI RELATIONSHIPS ARE ON THE UP
Around 15 per cent of men (and 14 per cent of women) reported having interacted with a virtual girlfriend or boyfriend. “Virtual relationships are increasingly appealing,” the report reads. “These digital connections offer emotional intimacy without the perceived risks of rejection, conflict, or financial strain. Yet, the rise of AI companionship also highlights growing social isolation – particularly among men, who already spend more time online than women.”
YOUNG MEN FEEL PARTICULARLY HOPELESS
Arguably “the most concerning finding” in the report was the fact that swathes of young men are feeling despondent about dating. According to the survey, 36 per cent of men aged 18 to 24 said they agreed with the statement “I don’t think anyone can fall in love with me”. Similarly, 33 per cent of men aged 18 to 24 agreed with the statement “I will never find someone to share my life with”.
“While similar sentiments were reported by women, the concentration among younger men is striking,” the report reads. “These figures may partly reflect the uncertainties of early adulthood, but they may also signal a broader erosion of hope and belonging. Many young men are internalising the idea that connection is out of reach forever.”
It continues: “Across this data, one theme stands out: Men are not rejecting relationships, but many are retreating from them or losing hope that they are possible. Financial pressures, social expectations, online disconnection, and the influence of gendered digital subcultures are combining to produce a landscape where intimacy feels risky, confusing, and often unattainable.”