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The Devil Wears Prada musical
Via IMDb

Imagining what the Devil Wears Prada musical will be like

A ‘That’s all’ dance sequence, a chorus line of Chanel boots, a scene-stealing Miranda Priestly ‘Florals For Spring’ solo

It’s been 13 years since The Devil Wears Prada graced our screens, and yet Meryl Streep’s medusa-like stare and withering comebacks are as crippling today as they ever were. So gird your loins, because the modern classic is due a comeback – this time for the stage. That’s right, a musical adaptation of the iconic 2006 film is heading to Chicago next summer for its pre-Broadway run, with Elton John set to write the score. 

It follows the story of Andrea (Andy) Sachs, a naïve young journalist who joins the team at high-brow fashion magazine Runway, as a second personal assistant to the icy editor, Miranda. Based on the eponymous 2003 novel by Lauren Weisberger, it’s believed that Miranda is based on Vogue’s Anna Wintour.

The musical is set to debut in Chicago on July 14 2020, with rumours already swirling about a London revival for 2021.

The show has some pretty big Chanel boots to fill, so here’s what we think would make it almost as ground-breaking as florals in spring. 

A ‘GIRD YOUR LOINS’ DANCE ROUTINE

“She’s on her way. Tell everyone.” It’s a sentence enough to induce panic in the hearts of men, and make even the clackers turn on their stiletto heels. Only a big Broadway-style extravaganza complete with manic split-leaps and triple-pirouettes will begin to encapsulate the sheer bedlam unleashed upon the Runway office each morning with the arrival of its immaculately coiffed queen. And can you imagine the ensemble number for “Florals, For Spring? How Ground-Breaking”, an interpretative dance take on what’s hot right now. While the show’s choreographer has yet to be announced, whoever they are, they’ve got their work cut out. 

PATTI LUPONE AS MIRANDA PRIESTLY 

It’s hard to imagine anyone other than Streep as the iconic Editrix. But if there’s anyone who just might be able to out-stare Queen Meryl, it’s Broadway veteran Patti LuPone. No stranger to iconic matriarchal roles, LuPone has previously starred in Sunset Boulevard as tenacious silent film star Norma Desmond (“I am big – it’s the pictures that got smaller!”), and overbearing Mama Rose in Stephen Sondheim’s Gypsy. Because if her gaze isn’t icy enough to turn a hot – and I mean hot – Starbucks into stone, is she even Miranda Priestly? Stanley Tucci will make a one-night-only cameo as our belovedly biting Nigel, of course. 

CORN CHOWDER SERVED IN THE INTERVAL

You bet your size six ass. 

GLACIAL PACE POWER BALLAD

“Dragon lady. Career obsessed. Snow queen drives away another Mr Priestly.” A true female powerhouse needs a power ballad to match. A single spotlight illuminates the eye-bags that only a lifetime’s dedication to a high-fashion publication will get you. What begins as another infamously scathing put-down builds into the soul-baring ballad we didn’t know we needed, as an awkward Andy watches from the wings. And with musical composition from the team behind “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”, there won’t be a dry eye in the house. Because we think a dressing gown-clad, bare-faced, and recently heartbroken Priestly is a Priestly to be reckoned with.

And other soon-to-be-iconic musical numbers in the mix? Let’s hope we get some “Cerulean Blue”, “I’m On This New Diet (refrain)”, and a fiery solo from Emily Blunt’s successor “Everybody Wants To Be Us”.

A HARRY POTTER MANUSCRIPT DREAM SEQUENCE 

Andy’s wild goose chase to secure the fabled manuscript is a character-defining moment. A surreal dream sequence sees Andy tumble face first into the pages of the manuscript, finding herself in the wonderful world of Harry Potter, before being bitch-slapped back to life by JK herself. She will enter her dream a wide-eyed rookie, and emerge the other side the not-to-be-fucked-with Runway resident we come to admire. 

A CHORUS LINE OF CHANEL BOOTS

Nothing beats a movie makeover montage – except maybe a chorus line of sky-high Chanel boots, high-kicking the glass ceiling down. Pure BBE – big boot energy.