Twitter

Behold! Thigh-high Crocs are the most cursed Crocs of all

May the lord have mercy on our souls

As if we don’t already have enough on our plates right now, over on the social media nightmare that is Twitter, all hell has broken loose thanks to one specific user. What was their crime, I hear you ask? A problematic Tweet? A touch of mansplaining? Reader, it was far worse than this: though an existing image has been languishing on the platform for some time now, @susamarullovesu just unleashed the thigh-high Croc on the world, and needless to say, we were not, and will never be, ready for it. 

Though at this point the style is little more than an artistic rendering of what said thigh-high Croc might look like were it ever to be brought to fruition IRL, the idea alone is enough to force us to turn our faces to the sky and beg ‘please lord no’. Inky black in hue, the style curves rigidly up the calf where it ends abruptly mid-thigh, and comes replete with the Crocs’ signature air holes, a chunky sole, and, of course, the divisive footwear label’s logo, in this instance embossed on a strap to the upper leg. Like we said: the horror. 

With a number of Twitter users pointing out how the Croc boot (Croot?) could be useful as part of one’s festival oeuvre we’d be inclined to disagree: for one, festival season is quite clearly cancelled this year, and two, surely any mud encountered would seep through the style’s holes and between your toes? That aside, I think (see: know) I’d rather wade through mud barefoot than pull these rubber babies on tbh.

Of course, it’s not the first time the divisive shoe has been reimagined and the topic of mixed reviews. Back in 2016, Christopher Kane gave the Croc a high fashion makeover by encrusting a tie-dye pair with a selection of crystal embellishments, before Demna Gvasalia unveiled his towering yellow platform version on the SS18 Balenciaga runway. Elsewhere, another questionable 00s throwback was given the thigh-high treatment, when Y/Project debuted an obscenely extended Ugg boot which was later rocked by Rihanna circa Coachella 2018. 

While most Twitter users responding to @susamarullovesu’s image are understandably shocked and appalled at the proposition of a pair of thigh-high Crocs, there are a few who are slightly more open to the suggestion: “yaaaaassss find me a bog to wade through in these babies”, wrote @leighannxmas. To which we say... go off, we guess!

Revisit the best and worst Crocs in the gallery above (which, we'll be honest, needs an update as of today).

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