Coronavirus: 12, Us: Nil point
While we are now forced to contemplate the meaning of life, and the cruelty of COVID-19, we decided to canonise the best beauty looks to have ever hit that crazy stage. Join us as we rummage through the Eurovision archives and celebrate the best-worst TV to have ever graced the small screen.
LORDI – FINLAND, 2006
The whole thing is so Dazed Beauty it hurts. When four Finnish rock gods took to the stage dressed as hell monsters, no one could have called it. What happened next, was even more unexpected – they won. A victory for Halloween enthusiasts everywhere.
VERKA SEDUCHKA – UKRAINE, 2007
Tin Man but make it fashion. Enter Ukraine’s brightest competition contestants, Verka Seduchka. Everything you could possibly hope for from a Eurovision entry – accordions, Queens, campness, and fake tits. From a beauty perspective, we’re living for the hardcore blush, glossed lips, and rogue contouring. Гарний! (beautiful!)
BURANOVSKIYE BABUSHKI – RUSSIA, 2012
You have to see it to believe it. The show moves quickly from what sounds like folklorish ritualistic singing into an elderly Babushka rave. Pure magic. The eight-woman band will go down in history as one of the most bizarre performances ever. The look? Goldsmiths student meets Russian babushka. 10 points to Russia for the subtle blush, full cover foundation, and beautiful traditional dress.
NETTA – ISRAEL, 2018
Undoubtedly an homage to Björk, this beautiful look was cute and funky. Twisted double buns with interlaced fluoro-pink extensions, cerise eyeshadow to match, and pristine red nail extensions. The backing dancers get extra points for co-ording pink hair pieces. We bow down.
CONCHITA WURST – AUSTRIA, 2014
What to say about this, one of the most moving and unforgettable performances of the Eurovision Song Contest ever? Conchita is the alter-ego of performer Thomas Neuwirth. Conchita’s stunning gold gown, and flawless make-up look was of course brought together with her now iconic beard. On winning she declared: “We are unity and we are unstoppable”, uniting her victory with the LGBTQ+ community. Not a hair out of place!
ABBA – SWEDEN, 1974
Relatively unknown at the time of their performance in 1974, a year later the group would be world famous. Lead singers Agnetha and Frida would go on to symbolise Swedesh and 70s beauty and style for decades afterwards. Agnetha’s white blonde locks, and Frida’s bouffant ‘do would crystallise the 70s glamour look for the mainstream for years to come.
GINA G – UNITED KINGDOM, 1996
Gina G was the girl everyone wanted to be back in 1996, when the Australian singer represented the United Kingdom in Oslo and sang disco classic “Ooh Aah... Just a Little Bit”. Her purple eyeshadow and bouncy curls were a little bit Kylie Minogue and a dash Jerry Hall and we all melted. Extra points for the two backing dancers and their high scraped-back ponies.
ALEX SWINGS OSCAR SINGS! – GERMANY, 2009
Alex Swings Oscar Sings! were joined onstage by Burlesque heroine Dita Von Teese, who unfortunately didn’t join in the warbling. Glamour was seductive and subtle for this performance, with the lead singer favouring an over-plucked arch brow and full blowdried mane.
DANA INTERNATIONAL – ISRAEL, 1998
The first transgender woman to ever win Eurovision Song Contest and she did so for Israel, with her hit, “Diva”, dressed in Jean Paul Gaultier, with a perfectly sculpted 90s make-up look; thin 1940s brows, matte powdered skin, and deep brown lined lips. A huge win all round.
CÉLINE DION – SWITZERLAND, 1988
Yes, Céline did Eurovision. Yes, she won. Naturally, she sang in French and blew the Dublin audience away with her song “Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi”. The look? Full 80s glamour. A tousled, back-combed hairdo, heavy brows, and a full coverage face with intense blusher to top it off. Très bien.
BUCKS FIZZ – UNITED KINGDOM, 1981
We’re including this purely for the sheer hair mastery of making the whole entire band look like they’re sharing one wig.