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"Dick Appointment Makeup Tutorial"courtesy of YouTube/SACHEU

The ‘dick appointment’ beauty tutorials enraging the alt-right


TextJake Hall

Make-up tutorials sharing glamourous looks that won't slide off your face while being dicked down are becoming wildly popular on YouTube

The internet is full of weird and wonderful content, but the ‘dick appointment make-up tutorial’ ranks highlight on the list of things I a) never knew I needed and b) am completely obsessed with. Created by sex-positive YouTube beauty bloggers, these handy and often hilarious videos teach us how to nail a look that’s glamorous, low-maintenance and, most importantly, won’t slide off your face while you’re being dicked down. It’s a simple, tongue-in-cheek trend built by women, and it’s seriously pissing off right-wing Twitter; one case in point is a now-viral tweet from user @Rooshv, who complained: “YouTube is handing out strikes to right-wing creators like Halloween candy, while ‘dick appointment tutorial’ closes in on 1 million views.”

The anger in the tweet is soaked with misogyny, and it obviously stems from the belief that there’s some kind of censorship double standard at play. But the sarcastic replies rolled in thick and fast, and they all seemed to share the same sentiment, tweeted by music blog The Needle Drop's Anthony Fantano: “sounds like the world isn’t such a bad place after all.” Ironically the tweet also sparked an avalanche of praise for the dick appointment makeup tutorial that started the whole thing off, created by beauty guru Sarah Cheung.

“It was just a look I wear to see my man,” explains Cheung of the video’s inspiration, “but I wanted to share it so that my girls and gays can get the dick they deserve!” Her tutorial is one of many which, in case you were wondering, generally outline a foolproof formula: light base, nude lip, neutral eye. “You need a look that survives the splash zone,” she jokes. “No, just kidding! I just think it’s whatever look makes you feel hot and fly and beautiful - your man probably can’t even tell what look you’re doing, but he’ll be able to tell if you’re feeling yourself in the bedroom.”

Cheung admits being surprised by her newfound fame but ultimately feels “honoured and blessed – if the type of woman I am and the kind of content I make is pissing off alt-right men then I’m doing something right!” It’s not the first time she’s tried a more unconventional video (previous clips include a Kim K sex tape makeup tutorial) but Cheung says her audience is always receptive to more provocative content. “10% of people think I’m a whore, but 90% are loving it and getting laid!”

A quick scroll through YouTube shows that dick appointment content is actually more popular than you might think; some of the videos have racked up hundreds of thousands of views, indicating that we’re all thirsty for sexy, low-key looks. “I’m super open on my channel and discuss sex quite often, so I wanted to share some of my tips and tricks with my subscribers,” says fellow beauty blogger Shadey Bangs, whose own version has almost 200,000 views. “The reaction has been mostly positive, and the comments section has turned into a mini-community of people imparting their own advice. There are some conservative people sharing unwanted opinions, but it doesn’t bother me.”

Fellow YouTuber Sophie Dolan, whose own tutorial makes brilliant use of CupcakKe’s fellatio anthem “Deep Throat”, admits surprise that this trend, in particular, was targeted. “It’s crazy,” she exclaims, “but honestly the political side of Twitter is one of the craziest, most nonsensical places to be, so it feels great to know I could have helped piss off these alt-right trolls!”

Perhaps the reason that right-wing creators are now so pissed they’re scapegoating an innocent makeup trend is that they’ve been given a free pass in the past. The last few years have seen YouTube accused of enabling shock jocks and boosting divisive (read: hateful) content whilst simultaneously silencing marginalised voices. However, a recent report authored by Rebecca Lewis seems to have sparked genuine change. Entitled Artificial Influence, the research discovers that nasty videos often slip through censorship nets if they refrain from using slurs.

The report also finds that these clips are often rooted in misogyny: from the ‘trad wives’ espousing conservative values and shitting on sex-positivity to the incels blaming women for their own lack of sex life, there are plenty of internet trends which explain the alt-right’s issue with the ‘dick appointment makeup tutorial’. After all, these light-hearted videos are allowing women creators to monetise sex-positivity and spark lively conversations in the comments sections. 

As the influence of alt-right rhetoric continues to grow (from the YouTube comment sections to people in power), it’s important that platforms, including YouTube, crack down on hate speech and create a space for light-hearted, wholesome content like the ‘dick appointment tutorial’ to flourish; in just ten minutes you can learn how to look flawless and piss off a few trolls in the process. “I really am surprised [at the backlash],” says Shadey when she hears of the apparent outrage the trend has caused.

“My video at least has a positive message, so I really don’t see why the alt-right feel it should be blocked.”

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