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This visual artist tries out the weirdest eyebrow trends on Instagram

TextLydia Rose Veljanovski

To celebrate World Eyebrow Day, we got designer and conceptual artist Anthon Raimund to try out some of the weirdest brow trends on the web

Welcome to Beauty School, the corner of Dazed Beauty dedicated to learning. From guides to histories, this is where we shed light on past subcultural movements and educate our readers on current trends and various goings-on.

Designer Anthon Raimund initially began photoshopping his images to make his friends laugh, but when he became inundated with questions about his "cosmetic procedures" he quickly realised the power of Instagram to project a personal mythology. Anthon is fascinated by the fluid nature of digital identity, and how it can be used to construct an online persona wholly different from our IRL counterparts. Although his Instagram is undeniably a parody of mainstream accounts, it is also a homage to them. Anthon feels that excess, glamour and artificiality are qualities to be celebrated, not scorned at.

I’m @anthonraimund and I am writing to you from my suite at Pera Palace Hotel in Istanbul, where I have barricaded myself in for the night. It is the sunny season of the soirée, yet I find myself fatigued from weeks of carousing across the continent. One must recuperate, de temps en temps.

I began the evening by unwinding the only way I know how; drinking champagne in the nude and listening to Sade - the sweet sound punctured by the beeps and pings of desperate suitors. As I ashed my fag into a pot of Crème De La Mer (ashtrays smell vulgar) I admired my visage in the Venetian mirror. I was struck by how perfectly my eyebrows framed my features, just like how the gilded carvings framed the glass. I am so #blessed.

But as I stared at my reflection, I began to wonder: could I still be this stunning without my 7th best feature? Would my towering looks crumble without those two perfectly shaped arches? I thought about all the eyebrows I had seen that caused mine to raise or furrow. Then I remembered who the f**k I was, poured myself another glass, and decided to give the most treacherous trends a go.

Halo Brows
Verdict: 2/10
Caravaggio, Botticelli, Michelangelo; none of their angels suffered hairy monobrows in lieu of a halo. With my ethereal looks, angelicness is already implied.
Get the look: Tweezerman Slant Tweezer

Nike Brows
Verdict: 1/10
Streetwear? - Don’t Do It. Streetwear logo on face? - Just Did It. Swift make-up removal? Must Do It.
Get the look: Benefit Ka-Brow! Eyebrow Cream-Gel Colour

Double Brows
Verdict: 6/10
I cannot say that I am totally repelled by this look. After all, a raised double-brow shows twice the disgust…
Get the look: NYX Professional Makeup Micro Brow Pencil

Long Brows
Verdict 0/10
Vile. These Farrah Fawcett curtains conceal the windows to my soul.
Get the look: L'Oreal Paris Paradise Brow Pomade

Garden Brows
Verdict: 8/10
The tiny fresh flowers (that took the concierge irritatingly long to source) enhance the purity of my natural features. My beauty blooms!
Get the look: Anastasia Dipbrow Pomade

Wavy Brows
Verdict: 2/10
The brows meander across my forehead, and I wish I was dead.
Get the look: Lime Crime Bushy Brow Pen

Feather Brows
Verdict: 7/10
I rather like these. As I’m feather light, why should I not have feather sight? They offer an elegant alternative to the thick slugs that crawl on too many models’ faces.
Get the look: Charlotte Tilbury Legendary Brows

Carved Out Brows
Verdict: 9/10
Highlights my brows, enhances their perfection. J’adore.
Get the look: Anastasia Beverly Hills Pro Pencil

Bow Brows
Verdict: 1/10
Yes, my visage is a gift. Yes, I am the full package. But, trussed up with a bow… no thank you. Too cutesy to be glamourous.
Get the look: Glossier Boy Brow

Stiletto Brows
Verdict: 3/10
To pull of this look is no small feet. Whilst I undoubtedly can, highbrow taste and high-heel-brows do not make a pair. Darlings, I know which one I’d shoes. Hehe. (Sorry blame the champers!)
Get the look: Benefit Brow Contour Pro

Written by Lydia Rose Veljanovski, Anthon’s personal wordsmith.

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