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Erika Lust masturbation month sex toy guide
Courtesy of Erika Lust

Erika Lust on her favourite sex toys and how to use them


TextErika Lust

From beginners to those on a budget, the indie adult filmmaker gives you the lowdown for Masturbation Month

Sex toys can open up a whole new world of pleasure, whether you’re rolling solo or with a partner. They are a great tool to experiment with different sensations with your body, in your time, and to your rules. 

The more you know how your body works, the more effectively you can excite your pleasure points! And, when you know what makes you feel good, you’ll be able to better communicate your desires to your partner as well. Communication and fun are keys to building up mutual sexual satisfaction. You can introduce sex toys into your relationship to play together or even to masturbate together! 

Besides improving your sexual awareness and the quality of your orgasms, sex toys can really help you turn yourself more positive over your body and lead to gain a greater appreciation for it. Sex toys can also help with sexual dysfunctions, such as erectile dysfunction or anorgasmia. Even though orgasm should not be the goal of sex, they can help you relieve performance anxiety and help you enjoy the journey even more.

We’ve been told for so many years what we are supposed to desire or not, having arbitrary gender roles attached to our bodies even before we find out for ourselves what we actually like. Many people are still not aware of the real health benefits of discovering your body and sexuality through masturbation. Almost half of the world’s countries nowadays banish sex toys importation for reasons of decency!

Many people out there feel a sense of shame when talking about sex toys or even if just thinking about having one in their closet. To reduce the stigma we need to make all our efforts to spread awareness around sex-positivity, starting from more effective sex education in school, in order to encourage a more open, free of shame conversation around sex in society. If you want to explore your body is not because you’re a “sex addict” or a pervert. You’re just exercising your right to know yourself deeply and feel good about yourself. Luckily, the sex-tech industry is evolving quickly and getting always smarter to satisfy all sorts of sexual needs and body shapes, so that everyone can feel worthy of pleasure without feeling something is wrong with them. 

“Many people out there feel a sense of shame when talking about sex toys or even if just thinking about having one in their closet. If you want to explore your body is not because you’re a ‘sex addict’ or a pervert. You’re just exercising your right to know yourself deeply and feel good about yourself” 

On the upkeep of your toys, remember that hygiene is everything! Cleaning your sex toy with water and antibacterial soap before and after playing with it is an absolute must! Keep in mind that each toy has a unique way to be cleaned and stored, so be sure to check the instructions manual to find out how to take care of yours. Best practice is to dry them nice and naturally before you put them away. Sex toys should be kept in cool and dark places and, if you have several ones in your closet, better to store each of them in their specific bag to avoid any damage to each other. Many toys run on batteries so if yours is one of them, make sure you’re using fresh batteries. If your toy is rechargeable instead, leave it in charge for a few hours before playing. And never use it while plugged in!

If your first sex toy doesn’t suit you, don’t get discouraged. Just figure out what went wrong this time, then get back out there and try again! There are so many different options to choose from and testing different ones is the best way to find what works for you. Here, I share some of my favourite toys. 

FOR BEGINNERS

Bean by Unbound Babes 

If you’re looking to get introduced to the world of sex toys but don’t really know where to start, I would suggest this discreet yet powerful button vibe to get a glimpse of vibrations! With this palm-sized toy you can dive into a broad exciting exploration of your body to figure out which spots of you like being stimulated. It comes with six vibration patterns and can be used alone or with a partner, in water or on land, and it’s definitely not expensive. Ready to start touching yourself? 

FOR WOMEN

Lily 2 by LELO 

LELO knows how to please all of your senses. Here’s another hand-held goody lightly scented with aphrodisiac fragrances! Just choose the colour and scent that intrigues you most – pink ‘Rose and Wisteria’, plum ‘Bordeaux and Chocolate, or ‘Lavender and Manuka Honey’. Lily is definitely one of my favourite clitoral vibrators! Its curved shape allows you to gently stroke your clitoris while moving with your body during your solo session. It’s also magnificent and really comfortable when used with a partner! Waterproof and USB-rechargeable, it has eight vibration patterns – from a teasing massage to an intense pulse.

FOR NON-BINARY PEOPLE

Crescendo by MysteryVibe 

This long vibrator is perfect to fit any type of body anatomy and genitals as you can bend it whichever way you want! Play with shapes to target your stimulation and write your own sexual script. You can use it both internally and externally, and to excite multiple areas at once. It comes with six different motors running along the entire length of the toy and, aside from 12 pre-set vibration variations to choose from, you can also create your own patterns by using the MysteryVibe app to adapt intensities and sequences as you please. You may need some time to put you at ease with the huge amount of choice available, but once you’re all set, this toy will likely become your best friend in the sheets. And yes, it’s undoubtedly cool during partner play too.

Also check out Buck Off by Buck Angel x Perfect Fit. This is the first sex toy for those who have transitioned or are currently transitioning FTM. Buck off was designed by adult filmmaker and trans activist Buck Angel in collaboration with Perfect Fit to help transmen to explore and love their bodies. Buck Off’s design was created to satisfy t-cock/enlarged clitorises – a common physical change that happens as a result of the hormone replacement therapy during one’s transition to male.

FOR MEN

Sex toys for self-pleasure are still a uncharted territory for many men out there who can often find them a bit daunting. I would suggest you start with a cock ring. You can find a huge variety of models and styles out there. Pivot by We-Vibe, besides being very easy to use, allows you to be controlled in real time by one another as well as to create your own customised vibrations through the app! If you want to level-up instead check Manta by Fun Factory. Whether you focus one point of your penis or you stroke it, this one can elevate your solo play as well as your partnered sex by turning your penis into a purring vibrator! Push it to the base of the penis while receiving a blow-job to reach more intense orgasms. Its flexibility makes it suitable for any size and its ribbed surface holds lubricant for a smoother stimulation.

FOR THOSE LOOKING TO SPLURGE 

LUNA BEADS LUXE by LELO 

Wanting to splurge to improve your sexual health? These 20-karat gold beats are a piece of jewellery for women with a vagina who want to strengthen their sexual pleasure while indulging in luxury. Beads are useful to exercise your pelvic floor muscles to protect the elasticity of your vagina walls and their bladder control as well as allowing you to amp up your orgasms when inserted during sex. You can also use them as a foreplay toy, having their soft vibrations slowly rocking inside of you as your body moves. Insert them for a sensual workout whenever your fancy – while cuddling yourself at home or even when taking a walk on the street! It will be your sexy, luxe secret… 

FOR THOSE ON A BUDGET 

Gaya by WOVO 

If you’re looking for something way more affordable instead, Italian brand WOVO is what you need. You’ll find there a wide range of sex toys, lingerie, and erotic accessories accessible for all! I’d suggest trying their G-spot stimulator Gaya, made to tease the most sensitive points inside of your vagina with her curved shape and bulbous head. You can switch between seven vibration patterns and three different speeds, it is waterproof and USB-rechargeable. Go please yourself, you have no more excuses!

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE ANAL PLAY 

Anal Massage & Education Set by b-Vibe x Le Wand 

Great news for anal play lovers! b-Vibe and Le Wand created together an exciting 10-piece set for anal, vaginal, and prostatic pleasure! Unwrap the box to find everything you need before, during, and after anal: get started with some kinky foreplay with specialised finger condoms and gloves, and the lube shooter; keep going with Le Wand Petite and Curve to hit both G-spot and P-spot and tickle your hole; go ahead with b-Vibe Snug Plug 2 which is good to anal training as well as for prostate play and Kegel exercising. Once you’re done, clean it all up by using the towel and store everything in the included pouch! And it gets better: in the set you’ll also find a Guide to Anal Massage & Pleasure with tips and tricks for all entry levels. Would you like to try?

FOR COUPLES

Satisfyer Partner Multifun 3 by Bellesa 

Although most sex toys are excellent for couple play, this one is particularly fun for playing together. You can include this multifunctional toy in all of your games and moves: explore more than 33 ways to use it and over 100 different vibration combinations! With its movable arms and vibrating shaft it’s good both for external and internal stimulation, for individual and joint pleasure, for him and for her. You can use it in any kind of body combination – his ‘n’ hers, hers ‘n’ hers, his ‘n’ his. It’s a great stroker for him and such an interesting G-spot stimulator for her. Come on guys, have fun!

Don’t forget that May is Masturbation Month so what better time than this to explore yourself and one another? Check my #MayYouMasturbate calendar featuring 31 days of free self-love inspiration. Just click on each day of the cal to access a selection of masturbation-centered sex guides created by me and other sex experts along with exciting giveaways of both LELO sex toys and XConfessions and LustCinema access & more! Go check my Instagram page to participate to join the challenge!

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