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Monte (Robert Pattinson) in High Life
Monte (Robert Pattinson) in High LifeImage courtesy of Thunderbird Releasing

Robert Pattinson says he smells like crayons


TextAlex Peters

Which is better than rotten dick and curdled foreskin

Everyone has their own individual scent, but at the moment celebrities seem to be smelling particularly unique whether that’s natural – Kacey Musgraves says she’s often been told that she smells like a baby – or chosen – Harry Styles likes to smell like Joan Didion’s house while Isamaya Ffrench gravitates towards a rotting flesh-like fragrance

Robert Pattinson, apparently, smells like crayons. 

In a recent interview with Allure for his Dior Homme fragrance, Pattinson is asked how he would describe his scent and according to him, multiple people have said he smells like a crayon. Like he is made of wax? Allure asks. “Yes! Like I’m embalmed,” Pattinson replies. In the same interview, the actor reveals that he doesn’t really mind grimy stuff, saying “I love the smell of things people really hate,” although burning hair he finds “revolting.”

As well as the fronting the campaign for Dior Homme, Pattinson is currently doing the press rounds for his new movie The Lighthouse co-starring Willem Dafoe whose character Thomas Wake boasts a scent much more unpleasant than crayons. In one scene during the film, Pattinson’s character Ephraim Winslow specifies in depth why he despises his colleague including his stench: “you smell like jism, like rotten dick, like curdled foreskin,” he says.

We can’t imagine Pattinson smelled much better during filming himself, in an interview with Dazed, he said that for the first take of his masturbation scene he was “throwing up on (himself) as (he) was orgasming at the same time.” We’ll take crayons any day.

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