‘Straight male offended by any feminist or ethnic activity which is not directly designed for him’
Language is always in a beautiful state of flux. While prescriptivist dinosaurs lament the good ol’ days when kids talked proper, people continue to develop more terms to describe the changing world in which we live.
Just last week we saw ‘woke’ and post-truth’ added to the Oxford English Dictionary. The former is a buzzword to describe the rising consciousness of a generation increasingly engaging with social issues, the latter a grim indictment of the state of modern politics where facts mean nothing and red caps win elections.
But sometimes we need to do dig deeper for those words that are on the tip of your tongue yet we just can’t quite formulate them. There comes a time when there is an epidemic that is yet to be described and then comes a hero, sweet lexicon, born to save us and give us a name for our ailment. For every obtuse, over-inflated, condescending, misogynistic, problematic arse hole you’ve ever met Urban Dictionary has coined the term and even made it ‘Term of the Day’ last week. Behold the broflake.
To the guy that thinks women shouldn’t march because women are doing alright and “we’ve even got a female queen”. You’re a broflake. If you’re the type of man that comments each October (February for those in the states) that there isn’t a WHITE history month. Wrap up warm mate, you’re a broflake. And if you even dare ask why there isn’t a straight pride yet don’t be surprised for my frosty response, there’s a blizzard in here, it’s you – you BROFLAKE.
While the official definition is a ‘straight male offended by any feminist or ethnic activity which is not directly designed for him’, there are more men that exhibit broflake behaviour. Here’s our broflake wall of shame for the year so far:
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP
Ah Donald, forever triggered. When it’s not Muslims just trying to pass through the world without unnecessary restrictions, it’s Mexicans leaving Mexico or fact-based journalism. All of the above is enough to make him tweet until he turns red.
THE MAN WHO SUED HIS DATE FOR TEXTING
When you’re on a date with a guy that you’re just not that into, you’re going to be looking at your phone waiting for it all to end. If you do that in front of Brandon Vezmar, you’re going to get sued. He publicly decided to sue a date for the total of $17.31 to refund him for a cinema ticket for the movie they watched on their date. He told Dazed that her texting affected his viewing experience. “I don’t think suing her was a drastic action at all,” he said. “I think the drastic element to the picture is the slow drip drip of these people ruining reality for the rest of us.” Is it cold in here?
A clickbait provocateur borne out of slimy 4Chan fandoms and gross alt-right politics, the repugnant, blond Breitbart-editing troll’s fall from grace earlier this year – he lost his book deal and his editor role – was spectacular. Milo’s forever screeching Islamophobic, misogynist bullshit, pouting about university students’ right to protest and getting triggered by feminists with factually sound views, cementing his status as ultimate broflake.
KEVIN WITH THE FRAGILE SNAPCHAT CAPTIONS
When you can’t even enjoy a Snapchat without fearing you might be gay.