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New Texas bill would fine men $100 for masturbating

Because ejaculation outside a vagina is an ‘act against an unborn child’

A Texas lawmaker has proposed a new bill that would see men get fined $100 each time they masturbate.

The legislation, known as the “Man’s Right To Know Act”, was filed this week by Democrat Jessica Farrer. It calls for stricter rules on male masturbation, “medically-unnecessary digital rectal exams”, and mandatory waiting periods before vasectomy procedures and Viagra prescriptions.

According to Farrer, the bill is a “satirical” effort to highlight how women are treated differently to men – particularly when it comes to US healthcare legislation. “A lot of people find the bill funny,” she told mysanantonio.com. “What's not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day, that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access healthcare.”

The bill is careful to echo the language used in Texas anti-choice legislation – categorising any ejaculation outside of a vagina as an “act against an unborn child”, and a failure “to preserve the sanctity of life.” Men, it proposes, should therefore only be allowed to masturbate in a state-run clinic or medical facility. “Masturbatory emissions created in health or medical facilities will be stored for the purposes of conception for a current or future wife,” the bill proposes.

“What's not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day, that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access healthcare” – Jessica Farrer

The “medically-unnecessary digital rectal exams” mentioned are also a jab at the state’s strict rules on ultrasound scans. Texas laws currently require women seeking an abortion to have two unwarranted and invasive scans before going through with the procedure. Farrer stresses that this has “nothing to do with” healthcare, and is purely an attempt to “guilt” women into changing their mind.

Farrer’s legislation would also allow doctors to use their own “personal, moralistic, or religious” reasons as an excuse to refuse a vasectomy, or prescribe Viagra. 

Texas is currently controlled by a Republican majority, and, as a result, has some of the strictest anti-abortion laws in the US. In November, the state was widely criticised after it passed a new law enforcing healthcare facilities to either bury or cremate aborted foetuses. To make it all worse, one GOP state rep is now attempting to abolish abortion entirely – introducing a new act that would potentially charge women with murder. The legislation, known as the “Abolition Of Abortion In Texas Act”, is currently in the committee stage. 

“If the state's going to step into the arena of women's healthcare, let’s look to the best practices of the doctors, not bad science, not political agendas and not votes in a Republican primary,” Farrer added.