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Courtesy Dorothea Lasky and Alex Dimitrov

An astrological guide to your love life in 2017

Dorothea Lasky and Alex Dimitrov blend poetry, pop culture and the planets for their latest project, ‘The Signs In Love’

TextAstro PoetsIllustrationKemi Alemoru

Dorothea Lasky and Alex Dimitrov are the Astro Poets: “actual living poets” that provide the world with daily bursts of profound, astrological advice through their Twitter account. Whether it's informing Leos all over the world to “drink a glass of milk thru a Twizzler straw while looking sideways at the wall” in order to achieve fast luck on a Friday night, or sharing the most rousing of Martin Luther King (a Capricorn, if you were wondering) quotes, they have your astrological needs covered. 

Both published poets in their own right, Lasky and Dimitrov have compiled The Signs in Love, your ultimate guide to spotting how the different star signs flirt, crush and indicate affection. Fear not: When it comes to your love life, your favourite poet astrologers have got you covered. 

ARIES

When an Aries likes you, it may come out of nowhere. Know that they might have somehow surprised themselves with how much they like you as well. Love for them is not so much a feeling as a force and they enjoy the spectacle of it all. Particularly because love is a stage that features their favourite storybook character (themselves) conquering and winning over the most prized possession anywhere around: you. Aries will give you poems they like. Probably the poems will be very romantic and be sort of about you, and definitely will have that rushed feeling. They’ll show you Aries’ hopes and dreams about foreverhood. Oh, just go with it.

TAURUS

Tauruses are deeply caring people and any surface gruffness you may encounter at first is just that: a veneer aimed at hiding how vulnerable they really are. Keep in mind Adele is a Taurus, with all those sweeping and possessive love ballads. Tauruses like earthly poems about fucking til the end of time. That’s because if a Taurus shows interest, they have already planned a long future with you that includes a nursing home. Or forget Adele—when you think of a Taurus in love think of the Emilíana Torrini’s song “Jungle Drum” which is all about a heart beating out of a lovesick Taurus’ ears. You make a Taurus’ heart beat. Just keep doing that, and definitely don’t make them mad. We warned you.

GEMINI 

If a Gemini likes you, it’s because they have decided that you favour change in all forms. Or maybe that’s just some Geminis. Because then there are all those Geminis that fall madly in love with brooding types that are not boring because they reflect a different centre of the universe than Geminis have grown accustomed to (duh, themselves). If a Gemini seems obsessed with you, it’s because you probably babbled incoherently to them at some point. Geminis like poems where there is a piling on of details and also still absolutely nothing concrete involved. If you really want to get a Gemini, write them one of these. Yeah, you’re welcome.

CANCER

Everyone makes a big deal about Cancers and emotions, but it’s more that they are truly moody. Likewise, they like poems with this moody flavour, going all over the place with rhetoric that makes them remember what it was like to be a child. Think of goddess Frida Kahlo and her body of work. If you want a Cancer, try to be a little sweet, but have a deep dark edge. Make them think you’re family and the pants will fall (eventually). Oh yeah, you may have to wait a while to bed some Cancers. Kind of like an orchid. If you want it, you will wait for it. And oooohhh, it will be a violent magenta that will drop you to your knees. They’re worth it.

LEO

If a Leo is really into you, they give you poems, maybe one poem they’ve written and torn out of a notebook and shoved at you while you were unzipping their pants. Or maybe it’s a poetry book they picked out especially for you and wrapped in glittery paper while they dreamt about you. The poems they like are optimistic in which the person faces the realities of life and overcomes them. Similarly, if you are into a Leo, inspire this in them and show them you want to adore them for a very long time (but please don’t mention that awful word, forever). Remember every Leo is J.Lo, sentimental and kind, dancing around. Don’t know about you, but we’re into it.

VIRGO

Virgos like what’s hot right now. Virgos can be preoccupied with what everyone else is doing, because they have a deep insecurity that if they went with their gut, they could look weird. They are wrong of course, and the happiest Virgos embrace their strange attention to detail with flair. Think Iris Apfel. All this affects the kind of poetry Virgos like, which almost always will include the latest book featured on a bestseller shelf. But keep in mind, unlike some signs, Virgos will actually read the book and have a nuanced opinion about it. Anyway, forget poetry. If you want a Virgo, be strong, cool, and make sure to need them. Be a lion on the outside, but inside be a lilac little bird, with a metallic heart, beating just for them.

LIBRA

When a Libra’s really into you they’ll sport various temporary tattoos and hologram stickers while listening to Rihanna’s “Rude Boy” on repeat and pretending to ignore you in person. Until you ask them something really basic like “hey weren’t you the one who got locked in the bathroom at that party the other week?” And yes, it was them. They like poems with snakes, hair, and relics of old lovers in them. They’re still trying to unlock the door and get to the party, which they won’t stay at necessarily but you’ll have to make the move and take them home. And maybe a few of their friends too. They love having an audience to make out for.

SCORPIO 

If a Scorpio wants you it’s time to give up having a life and devote all your energy to waiting for them to contact you. Intense communication will be spontaneous, rapid, and followed by long periods of silence. Yes, they’re sleeping with other people. Lana Del Rey’s “Born to Die” might be about them. They like poems with dirt, dead birds, references to obscure anatomy and gas station deserts. They will also know more about you than you know about them. Even though you’ll stalk them. Forever. Even after forever and after they’ve forgotten you.

SAGITTARIUS 

You’ll definitely know if a Sagittarius wants you in any way – quick, casual, or until the end of time. They’ll make this clear once and immediately, but will never chase after you. Often your love affair with them will appear to be going smoothly then veer somewhere dark, strange, and volatile like a Flannery O’Connor short story. They like poems with exotic landscapes (because they live for travel), glamorised loneliness, and the night rain. The way to keep a Sagittarius is to give them the illusion of freedom. Meaning: they have to know you want them enough to let them go (but they secretly want to stay, they’ll just never tell you that).

CAPRICORN 

Is someone talking at you nonstop and lecturing you on the difference between Barthes and Sontag, or grunge culture? Or any topic really – the lecturing is key here. It’s a Capricorn and they want you. When Capricorns are in love they like to hold court and impress you by their knowledge, ambition, and fantasies of dominating you. They will be persistent in their pursuit of you. They like poems with extinct animal skulls, velvet bedding, and a central figure around which everything revolves: them. At times Capricorn love may feel more like a task than an emotion. That’s because they’re used to working for and getting what they want.

AQUARIUS 

At first, you may not know if an Aquarius is in love with you – their aloof nature, mysterious and independent streak are hard to pin down but incredibly alluring. They’ll want to know you want them before showing they want you. But there’s nothing timid about them. There’s been more Aquarius Presidents (five) than any other sign (Scorpio ties them). They like poems with cacti and human teeth, spells and the supernatural, and their favourite childhood cartoons. Their love feels like the first (almost unbearable) shock of a winter day.

PISCES

Anonymous love notes, personally signed love notes, playlists, YouTube links, books, chocolates, flowers, the list is endless and you’ll get the entire treatment if a Pisces is in love with you. From cliché to wild and unexpected. What you’ll also get is their paranoia, temperamental nature, and high levels of stress that “you’re not as in love with me as I am with you omg!!” Ignore this. It will turn them on to be ignored (the right amount obviously). They love poems with bodies of water, spices, soft but dangerous objects, and life-altering, doomed, unconditional and unreasonable love.