This nightlight will notify you of your retweets so you never sleep again

Never log off again

It’s been well-documented that being online and instantly contactable for all of our waking hours is maybe, not actually, good for our mental health. We still do it though, because being logged on is really fun, and because modern work culture forbids us from actually resting, ever. We have absolutely no excuse to actually switch off, because our little tiny computers are always, always with us. We still have sleep though. Those precious few hours a night where we can say, honestly, “sorry I didn’t receive your email, I was trying to get the necessary time without blue light to avoid going blind before I’m 40”.

Not anymore! Thanks to a new project on Kickstarter, the Aumi Mini, a USB-powered nightlight that connects to your Wi-Fi and can tell you the weather, when your Wi-Fi is down, and integrate with your smart home. It can also tell you when you have emails, if you get tagged on Twitter, if someone mentions you on Facebook, and all that stuff that you’d maybe not actually like to know while you’re stumbling to the toilet during your few hours of respite from being alive.

The nightlight is obviously very technically accomplished – yeah it’s cool that we live in a world getting closer and closer to Black Mirror every day... isn’t it. At the same time, what a nightmare. I have all notifications for everything turned off on my phone. Silent! Do not disturb! No fucking push notifications, thank you, and if I choose to go on the app every four seconds to refresh, that’s my choice. That’s my hell to live in. I don’t need a nightlight blinking at me through my slowly closing eyes to tell me I have another mention from a man trying to tell me a funny joke. But if you do, then the Kickstarter is here. Go nuts! But like, actually.