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WHITE HOUSE

A portal to hell has opened up at the White House

Welcome to the Hellmouth, Donald Trump

The White House is sinking. In the most perfect metaphor for the current political situation in the U.S, a sinkhole has appeared on the North Lawn outside of the presidential home.

Washington D.C. is largely built on swamp land, and water leaks are causing the lawn to collapse under its own weight. Having spent his entire campaign calling for Americans to “drain the swamp” of all the lobbyists who had hurt the country’s working class, Donald Trump will now have to sort out the swampland outside his house in a bid to stop the ground from caving in and taking all of them with it.

Groundskeepers and reporters have been commentating on the appearance of the sinkhole since last week, with local reporter Steve Herman tweeting that it appeared to be “growing larger by the day”. At its biggest, it’s been observed at over a couple of feet wide, with a second opening up close by. Naturally occurring sinkholes are often referred to, or thought of, as portals to Hell.

Almost exactly one year ago, a sinkhole opened outside the Mar-a-Lago estate, which Trump has visited to play golf 69 times since the beginning of his presidency. As rising sea levels and that thing called climate change continue to grow as threats, it’s believed the the city of D.C could sink as much as six inches in the next century.

It seems wherever Trump goes, destruction follows. And, on that note – even though sinkholes are fun and all – there’s an even bigger fallout happening overseas. Following Trump’s decision to move the U.S embassy to Jerusalem (he tweeted that it was a “great day for Israel”) 60 Palestinians were killed by Israeli gunfire while protesting the controversial move.

Palestine’s minister has now referred Israel to the International Criminal Court for war crimes as the country recovers from the gruesome attack that left 2,700 injured.