If you – like most people on the internet – have already seen the TMZ video of Solange allegedly attacking Jay Z in an elevator at the Met Ball afterparty, you'll already have a few questions on your mind. Why did Solange go HAM on Beyonce's husband? Why is Bey standing to one side for most of the attack? How did Solange manage to achieve several flying high kicks in this 3.1 Phillip Lim gown?
Predictably, Twitter has already gone full-on Sherlock with the incident:
At least Solange waited till after the party, because a big old foot print on that white tux would have been hard to explain.— Stella Bugbee (@stellabugbee) May 12, 2014
Beyoncé just standing there like a.) she's seen this before or b.) girl just don't care— BlackBook Magazine (@BlackBook) May 12, 2014
Note that Solange's flouncy Phillip Lim gown was roomy enough to provide a wide range of motion. A great argument against body-con dresses.— Maureen O'Connor (@maureenoco) May 12, 2014
But obviously, this being the internet, people were more interested in the chance to make cheap jokes:
*In Standard Hotel Elevator* Bey: Where's Solange? Jay Z: Who?— Corey Kindberg (@coreykindberg) May 12, 2014
They told Solange how long she gotta babysit Blu Ivy for their tour & she snapped— Benji Brown (@benjibrown1) May 12, 2014
More like Solunge— Luke O'Neil (@lukeoneil47) May 12, 2014
To be fair, I wouldn't know Solange Knowles if she hit me in the face.— Hutchy (@BambiProclaimer) May 12, 2014
Beyonce, Jay Z and Solange have yet to respond to the video. It is still unclear what prompted Solange to apparently assault Jay-Z. Either way, we assume that the minimum wage security guard who sold this tape to TMZ is one very rich man now.