Read the first instalment of Plastic Little's diary here.

Thursday

During the walk back to London Jayson developed a tooth ache. I don't feel bad for him though. Grown men know not to eat wild berries from bushes alongside the road. They do things like kill humans and stir up mouth demons... demons that are famous for gnawing on teeth.

Upon arriving in London we were handed our scripts for the Shyamalan movie. It read quite well, so well we practiced our parts during sound check instead of rapping. What joy!

The Hoxton Bar and Grill fed us plenty of their best fare and has quite the attractive bar/wait staff. We shall return.

Mermaids everywhere. Goldie Locks was there, Herve was there, Chase and Status' Saul was there, Example was not. However, he sent his representative Elliot to greet and rap for him... Elliot did quite well.

Show was going fine until a most disagreeable wood nymph placed a sleep spell on our 7 piece band. They simultaneously fell victim to narcolepsy.

4'33" of silence.

Despite the lack of libations, we held it down like the Mighty Boosh. Apparently it was the best part of the show! People are strange. Many mermaids appreciated it. We win.

Jayson fell victim to his tooth boo boo and retired for the evening. So did everyone else, Si Young, manager, entourage.

My financial advisor and I decided to take in a night of Smash and Grab at Punk. Some women... many many more mermaids! Twas a mermaid frenzy! A storm must be near.

Kate Moss was there, Paparazzi was there, Julian Perretta was there, my financial advisor was there, Flo was there, Lilly Allen was unfortunately not... but I was serenaded by one mermaid for the 5 songs that played while trying to get our first round of drinks. She had a good hair cut, for a mermaid.

It was the best zoo i've been to in a minute, wild Swedish birds were flapping about the dance floor. What a mating dance they have! They lacked rhythm but somehow looked graceful in the throws of their ritual. Perretta and I participated. It was most entertaining.

Paparazzi dropped a gem. The gem was that brown people aren't good subjects for the tabloids. Well actually, brown musicians. i.e. Goldie, Plastic Little. Didn't want to be in his pictures anyway.

On the way home my advisor and I stopped at Kings Cross Station for a bite to eat before going our separate ways. Yummy! Fresh roast beef panini at 5am! Also, checked the morning exchange rate for pounds to dollars, it was 1.92.  Awesome. Slept well.

Friday

Woke up feeling smashed and groped. The pound fell to 1.64. Oy vey! Tried to figure out whose money wizards are to blame for the sabotage, ours or theirs? According to papers they're sabotaging on both sides of the pond. So why the drop in value of the pound if both sides are in the shitter? hmph.

Eh, anyways, helicopter ride to New Castle with Filthy Dukes. Laughed and sipped caviar the whole way.

Our pilot is a monk. Franciscan, not bulletproof. Kinda cool. His name is Larry.

Land in New Castle, met up with Black Moth Super Rainbow.

Retired to nearby forest. Dukes, Littles, and Black Moths recorded soundtrack to Shyamalan movie. Used only broken instruments. Sounds amazing. We're geniuses. Sooooo not of this world.

New Castle venue followed our rider to a T. Gorgeous. Littles slept, Dukes sound checked. Woke to a phone call from Obama, He said to call our Tough Alliance/Plastic Little album "A-rab Money", then he hung up. Shady feller that Obama. Most respectable.

Nibbled on the some fabulous morsels of wigrots and simpertrods. Was divine. We dine like priests and party like orcs. Note: The women of New Castle are living through a sex drought. Wild banshee they be, wild banshees.

Showtime. Thought we were to follow The Streets... most intimidating, but it was just a Mike Skinner dj set. Thank fuck. I hear they're pretty big over here.

The stage was quite awkward. Maybe an inch off the ground, about 15 square feet around, and surrounded by a gate draped in fabric. It sorta looked like a large playpen. A playpen in the club.

Good thing there were wireless microphones. We hopped the gate and did the whole show from atop the bar. Turned out the mermaids. Danced with the bar staff. Shot many three pointers on the mic. Nothing but net. We win.

Dukes performed to the dedicated party patrons of the main room and showed them "how they do". Magical.

Skipped back to hotel. Dukes and Littles held a mini parking lot party. We were politely screamed on by the night manager. Lucky for him our rapiers were stowed in the "boot" and our retired monk had the keys. Lucky indeed.


Saturday
 
Return flight to London. Dukes and Littles still under the spell of our New Castle night. Stopped to pick up Nathan the bassist from The Whip. He rallied our spirits. A good feller that Nathan is.

Also, Larry is a superb pilot, for being a monk. Not a bit of turbulence. Cake.

Diesel party at club MATTER, Mark Ronson was there. Kelly Osbourne was there. Paris Hilton was there. A lot of other famous people I've never heard of were there too. I guess they're only famous over here. Maybe? Itty bitty fame city is what i say.

Thirty artists were to perform. Was a bit difficult to catch performances due to all the running around with the ladies from Diesel radio. They run a tight ship. Sooo golden. Much thanks be to Lady Emma and the maidens of the Deisel radio manor.

Kicked it with Black Cherry, Tayo, Flo sans her machine, Mark Ronson, The Teenagers, and a bunch of interesting folk in the radio room. Champagne was served and spirits were lively.

Performed TupacRobotClubRock with the Filthy Dukes. Always a pleasure. Introduced Kitty Daisy and Lewis alongside Tan Tan. Spend three hours trying to organize our departure to an after party in Hackney.

Ride to after party. Seven people in a Prius. Two up front, four in the back, and one in the trunk. I laid across the laps in the back seat. I believe my financial advisor's man friend was trying to feel me up, most awkward. Shutting down, I closed my eyes envying the person in the trunk and shall repress the memory forever.

Finally arrive at after party. Still bubbling. Partook in bubbling. No idea when we left. Seemed like sometime slightly before sunrise. Goddamn you Diesel. Twas good.


Sunday

Flight to Nottingham, the cabin was haunted by the diabetes ghost. He seemed to be in a rush. Strange feller that diabetes ghost, he sure knows how to ruin a party, but not if you know that he's there. So, when we found him out, we ditched him at the baggage claim. Hi-fives all around, we win.

Street outside Rock City packed with people. Looked like Mardi Gras. I love Nottingham, they never disappoint. Strolled into the venue.

Band on before us seemed to be struggling to captivate the crowd... Very disconcerting. They must have their own diabetes ghost. Probably the reason why most of the patrons were in the street.

We settled in and then engaged in a screaming match with the green room security. He feared our american smoke making would compromise his current reading engagement if he remained silent. Lame. He must not know we're sorcerers.

Found out we're opening for Roots Manuva. Cool.
Hopped on stage, ripped it, the crowd responded accordingly. We win yet again.

Hopped off stage, went straight to the hotel. We had to leave abruptly for Jayson needed to see a tooth wizard extra early in the morning.


Monday

After the wizard visit we departed for Cardiff on horseback. Absolutely exhilarating! Prolly not for Jayson though, he had to ride side saddle the whole way due to his tooth boo boo.

Arrived at hotel and "kipped" our asses off.

Jayson remained sleeping while Si and I went to sound check. We sound checked at light speed, did a few radio/podcast drops for Chrome Kids... Si murdered it, he is a strider.

Si, David, and I ate amazing italian at some place with the letter P printed all over the menu cover. Even had desert. No body pains. Glamorous.

Retrieved Jayson and walked back to the venue. Small crowd, but very appreciative and enthusiastic. Better than a large dull over self conscious crowd any day. Try your best to never be apart of one of those.

Met a few local students and budding musicians. Persuaded us to attend a "Uni" party after the show... ok. Easily a 1000+ kids partying on a monday night. Some of the boys and girls were dressed up in grass skirts, boys and girls. Cardiff gets it in.

Si, Jayson, and manager decide to retire and leave shortly after seeing the anomaly that is the "Uni" party. I stayed to slay student zombies. So i picked up some swill and surveyed the debauchery with a young squire named Llion, pronounced Thee Young. Met handfuls of the future of Cardiff. The future seems fun in Cardiff. I'd bet my crystal ball on it.

No zombies were slain.

I didn't even have to use my AK,  

I gotta say it was a good day.


Tuesday

Day off, but not really.

We lost our horses when Si gambled them away in a poker game at the hotel bar. Striders walk on water but suck at poker. All was fine though, we rented motorcycles and rode back to London. Luggage and all!

Should've worn a helmet though, I caught a bug in my throat on the way back... Feeling slightly under the weather now. Hopefully it'll pass.

Dropped off luggage at Portobello Gold.

Went to do radio interview with our favorite ladies of London, Queens of Noize. The love flowed effortlessly. They are sorcerers in their own right. Shazam!

Went to manager's office to pick up rest of luggage and clothes from photo shoot.

Received album artwork for "A-rab Money".




It's magical.

Filmed our scenes for Shyamalan movie. Can't talk about it though, because his lawyers are ninjas and had us sign a waiver. All I can say is that it has swords, c4 explosions, enchanted forests, wraiths, a riveting Si Young sex scene, a Spike Lee-esque (but funnier) monologue delivered by Jayson, hovercrafts, zombies, 7 towers of Babylon, yes 7, an evil Pope, a good guy black American President, and me bitch-slapping Jet Li while doing capoeira to save a princess. Just imagine how much pussy we'll get off this one film! But as per usual, nothing is what you think it is the first time around, so pay close attention.

After the shoot we take a limo back to the hotel. Shyamalan knows how to take care of his "nigguz", for real. The driver talks us up, finds out we rap, professes his love for The Beastie Boys and surprisingly doesn't sing the Fresh Prince song when he finds out we're from Philadelphia. Kudos.

Had dinner at Bodean's with fabric mermaid.

Slept.


Wednesday

Day off.

Woke up early to huddle at a nearby stream with locals and do laundry. Passed the drying time at mermaid's place of employment. Learned about Brazilian furniture designers and a great many incantations to relieve furniture buyers of their capital.

Si Young worked on new music then bought socks and some ice for a neck ailment.

Jayson wrote all day in a cafe working on his soooper secret top secret project.

Si and I attended a homemade dinner with my financial advisor. Jayson slept through his hunger.

As a side dish she prepared bronzed elf cheeks sprinkled with sage. We shopped for main course ingredients while it baked. Gathered some poultry, various seafoods, and chili peppers.

In cooking the poultry and chili peppers we pretty much maced ourselves. These peppers were not of this planet. They absorbed all the breathable air when heated. Eventually left us all gasping and coughing. What a bully them chili peppers can be! Even the cat was afflicted. Poor Lola.

Oddly enough, the meal was devine. We consumed it while watching classic 80's and 90's music videos on demand. Even watched our own music videos and those of some of our hometown buddies. Sorta weird.

We stuck around for a while and met the roommate of my finance advisor. What a tornado hurricane of a person! Kinda a barrage of wizardry, royalty, and yegg all mixed up in one being. Unique indeed.

Cabbed it back to the hotel.

Slept quite well despite the delicious near death dinner.

Thursday

Met new tour manager, Tre, pronounced tree.

Our show at Macbeth was cancelled due to sound/stage/space issues.

While venturing out for food, Jayson witnessed a man attacked by a large pit bull type dog. Apparently it was an intentional attack since the man supposedly stole the cellphone of the dog owner's daughter. Woah, justice is served. England is soooo medieval.
 
Macbeth was rammed.

Performed with the Dukes and stirred ravenous crowd even further into a frenzy.

Si Young needed some body fuel so he picked up a bowl of pho from down the street. It smelled most agreeable.

Retired to hotel.


Friday

Flight to Leeds.

Tre performed barrel rolls.

Most impressive.

She is a baron.

"Uni" night at the Faversham.

Si Young had a mojito he didn't enjoy.

Jayson, still on antibiotics, drank two white russians. Icky.

I had some fruity Jack Daniel's concoction while the diabetes ghost sprawled atop the bar having a laugh.

The band on before us, Belleruche, stirred the crowd into a bit of a frenzy using a touch of real music. What a treat!

Surprisingly enough, our show went on without a hitch.

A few guys in the front even knew all our rap words. Awesome.

Crowd responded accordingly.

Hugs, kisses, handshakes.

Business as usual.

I guess the diabetes ghost either got some action or fell victim to one of the mixed drinks. He's such a chauncey.

Sidenote: Text message received "Shyamalan movie grosses 72 million in the first night." One more rap show and we drop the black album on this chitlin circuit.

Retire to hotel.


Saturday

Spent the morning looking for a currency exchange place. Exchange rate still down around 1.62... sucks for us. WTF Money Wizards!?!

Arrive in Manchester with enough time to actually mill about the city.

I grabbed a bite to eat from a local peddler. Went to our hotel/apartment thingy and watched Waterloo, a 70's version of Napoleon's story. Massive amounts of extras in decadent battle scenes. Righteous. Slept after Napoleon's defeat.

I believe Jayson spent most of the day in a mall like thing near our hotel/apartment chiseling away at his top secret super secret project, and looking at girls, of course.

Si Young worked on musics, figured out how to get on the roof of the apartment hotel building, and did laundry in his apartment. What an unstoppable strider.

Our hotel/apartment thingy was situated across from some type of party pub mall thing and it was buzzing with activity all day.
 
The Warehouse Project in Manchester turned out to be a club located in a car park. Pretty amazing. Pretty smelly too. Found out we we're opening for Dizzee Rascal. Cool.

Sound checked and returned to apartment hotel for a "kip". Found it a bit difficult to sleep since there was a raging mall composed of pubs directly across the street. Complete with hen dos, stag dos, packs of chavs, chav romances, and many uniformed sentinels.

Returned to car park artist area, found the rider followed to a T. Splendid.

Consumed rider within 20 minutes. Definitely falling apart before stepping on stage. The car park was packed to the gills with hungry vampires. Wish we had our rapiers.

Hopped on stage. Worked the crowd and even jumped up in their faces despite having to work with wired mics. The ladies of the front row were quite particular, their hands only seemed to find their way to the more tender regions of the body. They must've been med students.

Left the car park shortly after performing since we had to leave for the airport in 4 hours. Returned to hotel to see the pub mall in full bloom. Yay.

Attempted to sleep.


Sunday

Woke up still feeling the rider.

Hopped in Tre's single engine.

Reached the airport early.

Our flight was delayed forty minutes.

Sobered up at Heathrow.

Hopped on our well delayed flight.

Flew back to Philadelphia.

The Royal Bakers received us upon landing.  

Felt missed and loved.

We win.