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What does it take to be a legit sex toy reviewer?

A UK-based company is offering a paid gig to test out its stock – duck out of that 9-5 and into some massive silicone dicks

The sex toy industry is big bucks: sales are expected to grow to a staggering $52 billion worldwide by 2020. And whether you’re looking for 3D printed futuristic dildos, some animal fantasy foxtail butt plugs or drones with fleshlights and dicks attached, it’s an intriguingly diverse world. If you’re up for dipping into the booming business and you’d be into the illustrious role of getting paid to wank, a UK-based sex toy brand is on the look out for someone to test out its products as a sex toy reviewer.

The paid gig is advertised by LoveWoo: for £28,000 (a pretty decent salary) the successful applicant will be expected to write reviews on “sex toys, lingerie, games and much more.” They’ll get to work from home two days a week (doing what you’re paid to do) with three other days in their London office. There’s also some big incentives like unlimited holiday, private healthcare and discounted gym membership.

Ben Murray from LoveWoo tells Dazed that they’re expanding the team after market demand escalated exponentially, meaning they face an “aggressive growth period”. So far, they’ve received a high level of applicants since posting the job advert earlier this month. It’s (obv) a “competitive package with exciting responsibilities, and is a rare opportunity,” he affirms; yet they’re still overwhelmed by the positivity.

“The person who we appoint as our sex toy reviewer will be a brand advocate and become the face of LoveWoo, therefore they must be skilled, communicative and committed to promoting sexual wellbeing,” Murray says. “The ideal candidate will be committed to delivering honest, reviews and writing and producing quality content.”

Role responsibilities include the following:

Test a variety of products you receive from LoveWoo

We’re talking cock rings of every size and colour, prostate probes, jelly anal beads, deep throat spray and rouge stainless steel speculums (I don’t know what this is but it looks kind of terrifying but if that is your deal, amazing).

Decide why the product is hot, what could make it hotter and give personal recommendations

Can you make something that looks like it should sit on the table of a dentist performing an Alien-esque root canal really fucking sexy?

Write a detailed, informative review of the product to a strict word count

Disobey and expect a paddling.

Depending on assignment, produce video reviews 

That's outside of the bedroom.

Upload your reviews onto the website and use social media platforms to share them. Write clear, interesting features, tips and advice pieces, product roundups and buying guides

Level up your banging social media brand and take a leaf out of Pornhub Aria's wild Twitter account commentary.

Attend meetings and training sessions with the team

Because we're all mates here.

Become an advocate for the company and represent the brand in the best way possible

Link and build, gain some sex toy reviewer clout. 

To apply, visit Lovewoo here